Relationship Unsure Of What To Do

[broken_heart]

My ex-boyfriend just broke up with me a few days ago. He has been through two deployments in Afghanistan and has had PTSD and anxiety since. He had anger management issues before the military. He has had these issues since we started going out almost a year ago, but they never got this bad. When there are anniversaries of his friends' deaths he has always taken it out on me, but then later apologizing like crazy. He never pushed me away until he started his new job, which causes him a lot of stress. Since then he started having nightmares again and returning to drinking too much. He said that he feels he can't be a good boyfriend because of his job, still loves me, doesn't want to see other people, but we can't "officially" be together. He says that his symptoms are worse and the stress of not living up to his expectations for himself for the relationship is too much. Does this sound like a reasonable explanation, or is it just bullshit? I don't know whether to stick around without a commitment and see if things get better, or if they never will get better seeing as he will always have a job. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[broken_heart]

I also forgot to add, he has a TBI in addition and also refuses to talk to anyone about his symptoms getting worse, which is causing him to have a lot of trouble in multiple areas

 

[kahlan]

Relationships, even good ones can cause too much stress. If he's in a really bad place, being in a relationship probably isn't what's best for him. Sounds totally legit. Now whether you can handle waiting is up to you. He may get well enough and he may never.

Give him his space, and in the meantime evaluate what you're willing to do and what you're not.

**adding something here** If he's not actively seeking help, odds are he's not going to get better.

 

[broken_heart]

Thank you,
He still acts the same as if we were in a relationship, he just doesn't want the stress of the label. He's actually wanting to talk to me more, now that we're not official. I think I will wait it out a while longer and see what happens.