Undiagnosed Unsure

[Quail baby]

I will keep it simple it's nearly been 1 year since my 3 year old son was quote "held up under a boiling hot shower" by my now ex partner who is currently in jail when all of this unfolded I had no idea the man I was about to marry that stood by our side for the time spent in the local hospital kissed us goodbye getting flown to another was the man that new exactly what happened it took 4 days for him to admit somthing had happened that day my soul mate died
My baby is ok and he was very strong and healed very we'll what's left now is the scars all over his willy and top of his legs from then my life was turned upside down I kept telling myself how I'm suprised how I was staying so stong but was waiting to have that brake down months went past and nothing it was just all anger November we were ment to get married as that date got closer it got harder all the hate I had for him for months were being pushed aside for how much I loved him I ended up having that brake down addictions have kept me numb I act like I'm fine deep down I know I'm depressed and somthing is wrong with me but I block it out I can admit there is but still avoid it block it but I know it's eating away at me from deep inside on the 15th of this month will be one year just thinking about it coming is turning me into a mess I'm scared people say there is support everywhere but I can't find the one to make it all go away please help me one thing I know talking about it helps he is very much a normal happy nearly 4 year old boy

 

[Born to Run]

Welcome here :-) I am very sorry your son and you had to go through such a terrible time. Please see a therapist to figure out what is wrong with you, deep down as you write. It will be easier to move on, when you can talk with someone, from which your son will also benefit indirectly.

To give you one small point of advise: your post would be easier to read if it were not one long sentence. I was not sure if I understood everything what you wrote in this way.

 

[intothelight]

@Quail baby Welcome! :)

 

[Nikie]

I will keep it simple it's nearly been 1 year since my 3 year old son was quote "held up under a boil...

Quail baby welcome to the forum.. You have had a very ruff time..
And you are right by talking about it makes it easier... I believe you will get some help here....

These people are so caring..
And yes everybody always say. Support are eeeeeeverywhere"
( :tdown: just don't come to me ) ..

This is an open site so you will get some answers here. It might be better to go to somebody but my experianse with help wasn't so nice . so there is something I am NOT going to give advise on ..
Love heal .. So love your son and expert his love for you :hug: