Use Of Dissociation In Therapy

[Poofycat]

I dissociated during therapy on Wednesday and my T noticed it and used it to dig pretty deep into an issue I've been very reluctant, or simply can't, talk about. It was very surreal and I think it will lead to some big steps forward.

Before the dissociation started we were talking about my family and he asked a question that triggered this feeling I've been having lately where I feel like my body is toxic and I hate it. He asked me to describe this feeling, which I did, then I started to dissociate. He noticed this and told me it was ok and that he could handle it. He asked if I felt safe, which I really did. I felt really stoned in a good way. At one point I felt like I would either pass out, go to sleep, or throw up, which I told him. I felt like I could make a choice to pass out or go to sleep, which I think would cause me to switch to another Poofcat, but maybe I would simply pass out or go to sleep. I've been at this edge before but have always fought it. It was interesting to realize I could go either way. I chose to stay this time, and we dug pretty deep into why my body feels this way, but it was all fantasy/dream type images and answers. I felt really safe going there this way. And I feel like it opened up a bit of internal communication which was blocked before.

Anyone else done this type of work? Do you think it helped you? Any ideas as to what would happen if I let myself go over that edge and possibly switch?

 

[Sandstone]

How have you felt since? I think the risk lies in going further than you are ready for, and the impact it could have. It sounds as though it was a positive experience for you, and if that is the case, then good for you. Do you think you will now be able to talk about those things in a non-dissociated state?

 

[Poofycat]

I've felt completely exhausted since then. Looking forward to a mellow weekend when I can hopefully catch up on sleep.

I agree that the risk is going too far too fast. Even dissociated I had no trouble stating that I would not answer questions I found too troubling, which made me feel safer. My issue is that I don't remember what is likely to have happened to me. I'm getting bits and pieces in flashbacks and nightmares, so something is trying to come out, but I don't know how to let it.

 

[Dissociated1]

There are some things I am not yet ready to face in a non-dissociated state, but my psychologists have all done their best to prevent me from dissociating in therapy rather than encouraging it. Hoping you can take some comfort in knowing your mind protected you from horrible things in the past and that you can trust it to continue to keep you safe during therapy.

 

[BlueOrange]

Sounds like a really positive experience. That focus on safety seems like it worked, which is great. I've been feeling less of a need to hide my feelings and so on from my therapist, and things have been coming out more. It is extremely tiring, but I can feel myself getting stronger as well.

 

[KeepingTime]

I tend to dissociate a good bit in t. Sometimes he tries to catch me before I go away. But Lately I have felt like he "let's" me go. We've never discussed if it was intentional but I suspect it is to access the deep stuff. Only problem is that mostly when I dissociate I have no memory of the conversation so I'm not sure it is productive. Or maybe it brings it a little more to the surface? Like you, after I will tend to have bits surface through fb or nightmares.

And YES, always exhausting.

 

[pixel]

@Poofycat, it's reassuring that you felt safe :happy:

That's a big factor when deciding whether to go deeper.

No-one here can say what will happen if you let yourself switch.
The fact that you had a positive experience is a good sign tho.

• you said (while dissociated) that you felt safe
• you felt you could make a choice to let it happen or not
• you've gradually worked up to this level of therapy
• you've opened up internal communication (wow!)

It's good to know these things, it will alleviate anxiety if you DO decide to go deeper.

 

[Rumors]

I go away too. I sometimes don't catch it until there is a long silence. I'm not sure where I go but I just leave the building. Lol. It really sucks. It is usually correlated with difficult conversations and I feel my body tingle then "poof" just gone.... I'm working on it though.