Validation

[sun seeker]

Our likes & dislikes are not on you

Good point. It's just a while ago someone posted a thread complaining about how annoying it was when people told him they were sorry for what he was going through... and I can't remember who it was. Now I learn validation makes things worse for some people. My comment was about one half joke, one quarter nod to glorious diversity, and one quarter whine about the state of my memory that I know I won't be able to remember who said what.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

It depends on the manner of the validation. I absolutely hate it when people go "Awwwww" on me. Makes me want to smack them.
But if they react in a cool headed way I'm okay with it. I like people who don't make a big deal out of it and yet still offer me support. :)

 

[Nighthawk]

After reading all of this I think maybe I should as my T to track when the validation has a positive or negative affect on me. Maybe it is the subject matter that is causing the issue. Or maybe the validation does not come accross as truth. I think it will be a good thing to explore.

 

[jaccat]

Sympathy makes me angry, really mindlessly who do you think you are to feel sorry for me? Angry. Always has. It's something to do with all those adults who felt sorry for me when I was a kid but didn't lift a finger to do anything about it. Grrr.

I have real issues with validation too. My therapist regularly says things about how she views my childhood that makes me want to jump up and say it wasn't that bad! Really ridiculous. I think she knows that, which is why she keeps saying them.