Vent About Last Appt. With My Psych.

[Phenioxrising]

I'm no gonna comment on how people feel about my descision. But im not putting myself out there to just get preg. I am looking for appropriate therapy. and my symptoms include the alter coming out and physically finishing a task for me. as well as comenting to me about how im treated. my abuse covered all bases, in the past inclueding nearly being beaten to death. which just shut me up and out even more. I have put my descion on hold. but am not after just haveing a baby to fulfill my needs. I want to raise a loveing child thats aware of the values of life. not just in life but in work as well. and teach them as well. The way the comment was worded. I took as, so I'll only see if your taking proper care of yourself if it involves others. Yet important, made me feel like she was implying I had been incompetant otherwise

 

[Phenioxrising]

Nurse Obama made the same wording as healthcare needs. Look what that effect has had on society. Now health care seemed like a privilage than compared to as before. I think everyone earns their right to something, based on stable finances, as well as proper care provided. whatever it may be. I had to comment as I'm not seeking out having a kid just because I'm able to. but because of the want as well as to teach and raise the child to find their place in society.

 

[nursenurse]

One has nothing to do with the other. I stand by what I said. And I also stand by what November Star said. All parents want to teach their kids to find their place in society. I don"t want to get on my soap box. Just because you want a child does not mean you should be having one, at least not for now. I am going to respectfully bow out of this conversation. Keep reading November Stars post, over and over again. Sometimes the most unselfish thing we can do is say no to our wants.

Good luck.

 

[NovemberStar]

I think its VERY sensible you are not having or trying to have a child now.

The desire to have a child might be strong, but that doesn't necessarily make it a good decision.
What were your parents / caregivers like towards you growing up? Am I right to assume your childhood was not that great, did a lot of harm to you?

You have been abused. You've experienced FIRST HAND what it is like to suffer at the hands of others who have not been ok in themselves. The people that hurt you needed a lot of help and did nothing to change their lives and responses to others. Coming from that experience, do you not think then', ANYONE wanting to become a parent should be in the absolute BEST state mentally?

I'm sure you might be a loving parent determined to give a child everything you never had love wise. But that alone does NOT make a good parent. Intentions mean NOTHING if at the end of the day the result is the same - my mother loved me and dis her best. But she should not have been a parent.

She probably had a better start in life than you've had - my mother had a good childhood. Her parents loved her very much and she was not abused. She grew up the baby of a very loving well to do family. But she could not cope with the demands of motherhood. She drank. She abused codiene. She would be very loving, kind mother at times. She sewed cute clothes, made my sister and I cute matching outfits. She baked us birthday cakes and held parties for us. She bought me a lot of books and took us to the movies, ice skating, on picnics and family outings. When we were sick she would bring us lemonade and make those upside down oranges with toothpicks in them like hedgehogs and cubes of cheese.

But as I said - she could not cope so well and the other side of her was very abusive. She gave me black eyes. She beat me so hard my bottom was too bruised to sit down on. She shut me in the car boot, in the cupboard - holding the door shut while I yelled in terror that I couldn't breathe. She manipulated me, loved me only when she wanted something. I have PTSD as a result of her abuse.

You could have all the best intentions in the world like my mother did, but if you find life hard to cope with, then being a mother would push you to breaking point - and it is your child that will end up broken.