Venting Room

[Mina]

Fanfriggintastic. My only friend here at work is going to be leaving. And will likely be replaced with one of the owner's buddies.

*sigh*

As if I didn't already hate this place enough.

 

[Booknerd]

I am really getting tired of hearing how I should forgive my evil stepmonster. Or that my anger is only hurting me. Or..my FAVORITE ONE: why do always dwell on that? why can't you just forget it?

If I only told someone a tenth of what my childhod was like, they would think I was making it up.

 

[Tessa]

I am so cranky and irritable today.I am tired of trying .I wish I could go away and curl up by myself. I get sick of people being nice one minute to get you to tell your story and then completely NOT understanding what it is like to live in this hell!!

Tessa

 

[TLight]

I am so sick of this psyche doc and his BS, taking forever to fill out my forms, ruining my credit, losing my pills from Astrozeneca, writing my prescrips wrong.................

I'm looking for another doc, but no one is taking Medicare patients and I need an MD to sign those papers............

I'm having revenge fantasies about this guy. Doesn't want to fill out my damn papers in session, although he filled them out before..........but did it wrong.

Months and freakin months of going around with this BS and all he has to do is two freakin little things...........

Front desk is a bunch of bimbos..........had his wife's number, but found out she disconnected it............

I hate this guy..........hate is a strong word, but he is ruining my credit!

 

[Tessa]

Hello,
Is anybody out there? Does anybody care? I am trying to help myself. I find it very difficult even to talk to my therapist. It is hard to find words for a lot of things and then when you try and explain you don't feel understood.
This week we had a camp for young people at risk on our property. It was great for them. However my startle refex is in overdrive from all the yelling and sudden noises.
It is very wearing to be constantly jumping at noises.
Angry mens voices are paticularly scary ...
Tessa

 

[Manic11]

20 year old mother?

My family is having major issues right now. My brother is having major issues with drugs, he's been arrested 5 times in the past 2 months. My other brother is also messed in the head so he is too lazy to even get himself out of bed to shower (he's 23 and no, I'm not joking). My mom can't handle much more. She is breaking down, threatening to hurt herself, threatening to leave all of us. My stepfather is abusive. Its a very happy, healthy family. (Little sarcasm for you there)
I have now turned into the mother. I'm 20 years old. That is nothing that I am able nor ready to handle! I'm now looking after my little brother and my 23 year old brother, while taking care and making sure my mom's okay and avoiding my stepfather. On top of that, I'm going back to school, working almost full time, looking for another job and trying to balance this with the heavy a** load of PTSD.
This isn't fair! I'm too young to handle all of this! What would happen if I left my disfuntional family? What would happen then? They would just live. And when I say live... I mean they would be alive...physically. Well until my brothers kill themselves with drugs. Who knows, maybe that will force my mom to stop drinking! Ha! I think she'd just drink more. This family has crumbled. And I'm supposed to pick up all the pieces?!!! :wall::wall::wall:

Can I just....? Ahem....
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahem..I feel a bit better now..

Manic

 

[Tessa]

Hi Manic,
What a wonderful resiliant person you are ! Sometimes it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
Carers are the most unrecognised,important people in our society.
Please know we care and send hugs and peace.
Tessa Hug_emoticon

 

[Manic11]

Thank you so much Tessa.
I appreciate your reply.
:Hug_emoticon:

Manic

 

[cragger65]

Sorry you've got to deal with so much Manic, and yes, you are too young to have to take all this on yourself. It speaks huge volumes to you as a human being that you help instead of just bailing out. Wow. You're an awsome young woman, I hope you recognize that about yourself.

But you need to take care of you the MOST here. Do you have a councilor, a friend you can talk to about this on a regular basis? None of us make it on our own, especially with the situation you are facing. Of course, people here are always willing to help.

take good care of yourself,
Dave

 

[cragger65]

I feel for you Tessa, I don't think I could handle that personally, would wind me up too much and stress me out. Have you tried breathing excercises, focusing on bodily sensations, etc to ground yourself? For me that's the first step in dealing when triggered, I try to take deep slooooow breathes into the belly with looooong exhales. I also find it helps to focus my attention on how the bottom of my feet feel when my mind is jumping about.

I'm not sure my T understands me either, but she is supportive and sometimes that's the best we can get. I hope you are at least getting some emotional support through difficult times. If not, I'd suggest finding another therapist.

Cheers,
Dave

 

[Tessa]

Thanks Cragger65
My therapist is supportive and I think,like a lot of things,it is difficult to understand unless you experience things yourself.
We had an awful weekend with lots of alcohol and mutiple stabbings in the community..and very little sleep.
I understand about the relaxation but have always been unable to do it.
Take Care
Cheers
Tessa

 

[dharmaBum]

This family has crumbled. And I'm supposed to pick up all the pieces?!!! :wall::wall::wall:

I left my family. I was 17- it was a hard choice to make. My younger sister was into drugs w/no control from my mother. My father was dead. My brother sounds very much like the one who doesn't care to take a shower. He is now 31 this year and still lives at home without ever holding a job. My mom doesn't do drugs or alcohol, but she was often not a parent due to circumstances, etc.

I think that I, as you, were/are only meant to pick up the pieces of ourselves as best we can. No one ever saves a family member if they don't save themselves first. It's like that oxygen mask thing...