Research Venting & Why It Isn't Always Good

[Upside Down Eagle]

The other day when I had posted my thread: How Do You Not Scream? A lot of forum members helped me, and gave me advice. Most of the advice was geared to venting (screaming in a safe environment). This is interesting. Until the end of 2013 I also thought that letting my anger, frustration, and feeling of being powerless, out.

I greatly upset my neighbors with this, who were scared of me, too scared to even talk to me. They would come in a "pack", so to speak, because they did not dare to talk to me on their own. It was humiliating -I would never, never ever beat somebody up who came to talk to me meaning well... but they didn't know that.

But I learned something since, and I learned it the hard way. The more I vented, the more I stayed in a downward spiral. I needed a dramatic change -a complete shift of focus. It wasn't a case of denying my anger or bottling it up, but starting to realize that anger should be used in a positive way.

Of course, I felt that I couldn't. I had gone so deep down the spiral that I couldn't see any light anymore. But I reached a point where I had to make a drastic decision: stop venting or stop living. The situation was so bad, that suicide seemed the only good option out. Thankfully I managed to climb out.

Today I found a blog post that supports the notion that venting isn't always a good idea. Links to scientific studies are at the end, together with a short video that summarizes the point.

http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/08/11/catharsis/

 

[The Albatross]

Hey Rad, that little vid should go in media. Great topic.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Yes, venting can do some bad, as the more anger you vent, the wider the venting hole gets, and the anger is more likely to flow out normally, without you controlling it, and in a way pollute your envirovment, giving you quite a nasty aura, lets say. Thats all I had time for.

Gotta go, thanks for reading. Hope it's understandable

 

[somerandomguy]

Yes, brain studies have shown that the more you let your negative feelings out, the more negative you will become because it strengthens the neural pathways for anger.

 

[Ronin]

Great topic, and definitely interesting read.
The only problem I'm seeing with it, is it's rather geared toward certain cultures and types of experiences; there's types of vents people have as the only *voice* left and where bottling it all up is dangerous to health far more than 'negativity' of venting would be. Basically saying there's venting and venting and rules on emotional regulation don't work globally.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I know @Kaia, that's why I want to emphasize "isn't always good" as opposed to "it's never good". I agree that some times you need to let things out. I guess the thing is, to be conscious of the fact that you CAN get trapped in this behavior.

I for one would have loved it if somebody had told me, back then, to just "stop it!!!!" (imagine somebody screaming in my face here).
Instead I went on and on and on. I had to figure out by myself that I was destroying myself, not helping at all. Although to be honest, I doubt that I would have listened or done anything.

It isn't just anger, I think people can also stay stuck in a depression, or anxiety, by staying in that energy, rather than leaving. The "nasty aura" that @otakujome was talking about.

 

[Anarchy]

Thanks for posting that, and :hug:

Over the past few days Ive been starting to watch presentations and read up on some of Lawrence Heller's work, and the catharsis not working theme ties in very well with what he seems to have been finding.

It's early days, and I'm a long way from being even marginally up to speed on his very extensive body of work, but what does come out very clearly is how unproductive he believes the old ideas of catharsis are, especially when trying to help people who have developmental traumas with no conscious memory of what traumatized them, and who have notable gaps in their abilities

- and with people who have complex traumas over a long period of time.

Although re visiting trauma may work well for people with single or a few relatively well defined traumas, Heller seems to have found that re visiting trauma and the "breaking down of resistance" of old style psychotherapy just results in re-traumatizing people who had complex trauma, and it seems to help us dwell and wallow in memories of things that we cannot change, and hence teaching us to fail, rather than learn new ways to cope in the present, and to develop what we are good at.
:hug:

 

[Ronin]

@Radise, I'm following / understood the intent, mostly offering another angle to look at venting itself. I think we're both essentially getting each other on this; not as much an objection as (hopefully) concrit from my side.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Well @Radise I think the others have said it all. I simply echo them rather than repeat what had already been posted in reply.

A structured venting can be beneficial but too much venting or venting out of control can do more damage than good.

Sending :hug:s from the UK

Laurie

 

[Ellabella44]

When i do it, the screaming, its once every few months or so , not an often thing , but when i cant take it anymore. And ill be too wound up and likely to take it out on someone that doesnt deserve it. Get it out while husband and kids arent home so what comes up is their stuff that came up, not mine that they shouldnt deal with.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Ellabella44 Yes, when under stress I can get to point of maniacally screaming and hitting stuff around me, I sometimes completely lose to stress :(

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think that what you're referring to is extreme venting if people are afraid of you! I don't think that holding anger in is always a good thing, as many of us have been taught to minimize our feelings. I think the key is learning how to let the anger out in a constructive way without making other people afraid of us! Anyone who has read my journal knows I use it as a place to vent. To be honest, once I vent in there, I often forget the issue completely. I just needed to get it out of my brain so I could stop ruminating. Which, honestly, goes against the advice to not vent b/c it creates negative neural pathways.....keeping it in and letting it ruminate is what creates those negative pathways in my brain.