Research Venting & Why It Isn't Always Good

[Upside Down Eagle]

I don't know Solara, even thinking a little bit negatively every day can in the end lead to being more negative. So maybe it's more a thing like not getting stuck in a pattern.

Yeah in my case it would be called something like that. It did start though with my own mentality of "letting it out is good". Nobody around me did think of telling me to stop back then. They told me to punch things that wouldn't be a big deal, like a pillow or punching bag. But I wasn't told by anyone to cut it the $%@! out :p. I think maybe, that might have helped. But I'm not sure.

I am learning to use my anger constructively now, it's a thing I wrestle with. I have managed now and then to control my outbursts precisely by using anger as a force. The anger makes me able, when I use it in a good way, to put a stop to it.

When i do it, the screaming, its once every few months or so , not an often thing , but when i cant take it anymore.

I used to do it because of that too. Still do sometimes, thankfully not nearly as it was. But the more I screamed, the less I could take, if that makes any sense. I was quicker every time to scream and react, and I felt more frustrated every day.

So yeah it's very situation specific.

 

[risingsun]

It wasn't a case of denying my anger or bottling it up, but starting to realize that anger should be used in a positive way.

You can definitely channel your anger in positive and productive ways. I mean sometimes, we all need to cry, verbally express our pain, or scream into a pillow but we just need to ensure there is a balance between releasing emotions through tears and words and channeling emotions through focus and activity.

We also need to ensure that we are truly releasing our emotional pain (which sometimes takes a while) rather than feeding it over and over to the point that we keep picking up the tears and excess pain baggage that we have already laid down.

 

[ms spock]

That is very interesting.

 

[Lionheart]

I am not sure about venting. :confused: I think it is sometimes a good thing and other times not so good, depending on how we direct it.

I think hitting a pillow is not very good because it teaches us to strike out physically when we are angry and raising our voice has the unwanted effect of putting others on the defensive.

I do like that I can state how I am feeling and then let it go. For example I can say, "I am angry about (blank) because I think (blank) and this makes me feel (blank)." Then I can just move on and let the feeling resolve (which it usually does).

Sometimes I believe that direct communication is the key and other times I find it best to keep things to myself, but that doesn't mean I don't process the feelings of anger and frustration...I find writing about it helps as does talking with a trusted friend.

 

[illusionist]

Thank you Radise for posting this, it gives me so much more understanding of what I have been going through for the past couple of months now.
I have never felt anger, in the depth I have felt in the past two months. I previously posted on the topic and have never felt so bad since I started to allow myself vent, although initially it felt good.. I have come to realise that I am only feeding the emotion. What initially started as anger to the past is now overflowing to the present and feeling anger towards people and situations around me. I now need to get back to being my old self.....forgiving, accepting, and thankful. I hate the person I am allowing myself to become at the moment .....seeing the light now.