Virtual online gathering for christmas day here....

[lostforgottensoul]

I won't exactly be alone for Christmas but I might as well be and actually want to be. My dad is coming over but he made a point to tell me he turned down a local family gathering (that I had no idea about and surely wasn't invited to) just so that I won't be alone for Christmas. It was said as he is doing a nice thing for me, and he is, but I feel it's more out of pity and who wants someone to miss out on something for them? Now I feel guilty on top of it. Christmas is the worst holiday of them all. It's a trauma-versery of cult rituals being done in mass quanties and the most "horrible" ones to pay respect to "god" and so all that crap is back in my head. The hardest thing I have ever had to do was fight my own mind about f*cking rituals. I want to rip my head off. I didn't bother taking out Christmas decorations out. Why? I can't make it out of the house and brave the crowds at Walmart or Target even with a service dog and I have to buy a f*cking secert santa gift (that I had no choice in) for work. I normally save all year for a big gift for myself for Christmas and have done that every year since the first year out of the house of hell but I haven't decided on what to get and have no idea how I'm going to drag my ass out of the house tomorrow (gift is due back to work Friday) to get it. And then old thinking of "I don'r deserve anything". Did I mention I want to rip off my head? Everytime a Christmas comercial comes on tv (which is just on for noise) I want to throw it out the window and put my foot through it. Joyful can kiss my ass! The last 8 years since being back in Florida I bought my dad & step mom gifts but I didn't bother getting him a gift (though I still may as even though he said he didnt buy any gifts either, it would be a nice thing to do). I am in the most bah humbug mode and PTSD and pain is kicking my ass over and over.

Sorry if not trchnically being alone for Christmas is against the rules of the thread. I can go away. I just figured mentally I am and don't want my dad to come over and am just wanting him to go away and stay away and yeah, just not doing ok. So, hopefully that's ok. But if not I can go away.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

This thread is for people who need support on Christmas day and you are welcome to come. I am sorry that all of this is happening right now for you. You will have good support.

 

[Changing4Best]

I do want to say that I got an email yesterday that my family is meeting together for the holiday, and I was not invited. They know that I have hospital bills and all, so this may be the reason why. None the less, it hurt that they will be together and I won't be there. They are a family unit and I am a sister/ sister-in-law/ aunt, so it may just be a nuclear family event at which I would be a bit out of place. Still, I wish I could be there and am a bit sad that I cannot be. None the less, I wished them all a Merry Christmas and I sent them some gifts awhile back.

 

[trying2movefwd]

I wish I could be at home for Christmas and just be me and my immediate family..but no. I have to GO to a few different houses and see lots of people. So I may isolate myself to a corner and enter cyberworld on Christmas day.

 

[Recovery4Me]

I will be here on Christmas Day to share with you @Rain and the others in compassion and support. Thank you for the invite. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I will be here on Christmas Day to share with you @Rain and the others in compassion and support. Thank you for the invite. :hug:

Thank you so much Recovery and everyone else that is coming. I appreciate being seen and heard and believed and respected and I truly think everyone needs this in our lives. This is such a triggering holiday for so many people.

I hope that we can get back on track and support and help each other on a very hard day for so many people here. Thank you Recovery. Thank you @anthony for your comments. I appreciate this a lot. It is going to be okay.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Rain I’m a bit confused as to what this thread is about now. I’ve read your post, but still need clarification. Maybe I’m dense.

There are many ways to support people. So, are we just here to say “gee I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way!” Or is humor/imaginary food and decorations allowed to try and cheer people up?

Cheddar cheese please with Triskets crackers. Maybe some herb and garlic triskets? Thank you so much.:joyful::joyful::joyful::hug::hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

So, are we just here to say “gee I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way!” Or is humor/imaginary food and decorations allowed to try and cheer people up?

This thread is not about me. I hope that this fact will sink in. Really @She Cat? I think leeway is a part of it, I was asked a question, and I tried to answer it and share my thoughts and feelings as well. I am not against the humor or imaginary food at all. I think and I stand by it, that a few people took the thread over and I tried to redefine the main purpose of the group. I am not against humor and cheering people up. You apologized and yet you did not take over the thread so it was not aimed at you and this is a mental health forum. So much got lost in translation I think.

I liked how anthony addressed it to the people who took it over. I have not been condemning people here and I am sorry that some people took it personally. I said I was not trying to disrespect people. I am glad I shared my feelings and thoughts. I am feeling better for doing so. This is for support and I am not against the silliness. Why is this so difficult to understand? I just do not get it.

I feel as if I am on trial, It was meant to be a good thing. I feel what I feel. No law against this that I know of. I am now frustrated and impatient. Please no more comments until you re read the comments I shared in response to the question asked. I am not judging nor condemning anyone and I am setting new boundaries for myself. I do not think I was wrong for speaking up. I realize that you are only asking for clarification. I hope this answers your concerns. It was not supposed to be a big deal.:hug:

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Rain thank you for the clarification as sometimes I can be dense. I now get it. I guess I missed a couple of post by people and didn’t realize what was going on and then your post. I thought I had overstepped and was apologizing.

Phew, glad that’s over with. Let’s party!!!!! LOL!!!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Let’s party!!!!! LOL!!!

Thank you!!!!! Lets party is damn right, us against the world.:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[joeylittle]

@Rain - I’m going to echo what Eve said:

You are the OP. As a premium member, that means you can

• Thread ban individuals
• Lock the thread

At any time. You can access those controls via the Thread Tools, at the top of the thread.

I’ve read the thread a number of times and will say this: whatever ‘takeover’ you think may have happened does not appear obvious at all. Your claiming that the thread was taken over has done nothing but generate a number of apologies from confused people.

So, please remember your thread tools and use them.

Many of us get rough around the edges this time of year. A little tolerance goes a long way. My advice is, don’t try and control the actions of others. If you don’t want them posting, thread-ban them. Otherwise, live and let live.

Between threads, diaries, chat and PMs, there are many many different ways to give and get support. To think that this one single thread is the only place to find or give support is really unnecessary.

That’s the end of my interruption. I offer it as food for thought. Back to the topic at hand, and all please remember: take what’s useful, leave the rest. It applies all over the site, even in Social. Thanks.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Joey thank you for the reminder. It was only a few people who overstepped and three people apologized for something they have not done. I am clear about what I needed to say and I am not trying to control anyone. I will exercise the thread ban options from now on thank you very much. It is obvious to me Joey. Since I am the OP I will be more consistant in staying on topic.