Volunteering As A Form Of Therapy

[ams]

Has anyone done this? My counselor suggested I try it, back when I saw her over a year ago. I'm thinking about it now! It just sort of fell into my lap, though. My college had a rape on campus a week ago, and I didn't know until I heard it from a student in my class. My classes all let out at 10:30pm on weeknights, and all the paths to the parking lots are pretty poorly lit. There is security, but not prevalent at night in those dark areas! I emailed the Campus Violence Response Team leader last night (after I found out about the rape) about the campus security not being...there. I've been at the school for a few years off and on, and I feel pretty safe there. There's never any reported violence there. But I suggested to this CVRT leader the idea of posting security in those dark areas at night. And I suggested posting an article in the campus newspaper about safety (especially at night) on campus and self-defense, etc. Preparation, basically. And walking WITH others to the lots, or getting escorted. Guess what? She loved my ideas and already notified the proper people to get the ball rolling with everything. And now we're conversing about me volunteering for CVRT. I think if I volunteered at the trauma centers I went to for my own rapes, it's way too close to home. I can't handle the anxiety of that. But I've already been great support for a few friends who were assaulted, seeing as they called me because I had *all* the resources (laws, hospitals, rape kits, detective's names and numbers, procedures, everything) and that's exactly why they called me lol. I think CVRT can only to resources, and not actually provide therapy, but that's still good, right?

I've had rape on my mind constantly, recently, and I think I may be obsessing. I want to find a way to turn it around or find a better outlet. Maybe this? Ideas anyone?

 

[WonderingWhy]

Ams,

That is great. One person can make a big difference.:D Do they have any plans to install more lighting for those areas? If not you could make that suggestion. Do they have some system for students to request an escort to cars or dorms?

I would think doing anything to possibly prevent assaults shoud be very empowering for you. I think any type of any effort whether it is actual volunteering or initiating efforts to prevent assaults would be very therapeutic for a victim.

You get my admiration for your ideas and actions to get them in motion.:)

 

[ams]

I posted the convo between me and the team leader in my diary. She said she's going to talk to someone about posting security officers in the dark areas. there's always construction going on at the school, so maybe lighting is in the near(ish) future, but posting security is probably more likely to happen sooner than lighting up the areas. A student can go to a call box, which are randomly all over campus, and a security officer or cadet will come by and assist the student however possible. So escorting is an option, but I figure if every student leaving school at 10:30pm needs someone to walk them to their car, there isn't nearly enough officers on hand for that. It's available, but we need to draw attention to self-defense and walking in groups, carrying mace, etc. basically combing all of everyone's efforts into the safety of everyone, not just the individual.

Part of the issue is security is posted in areas where there are lots of students around, which makes sense, right? If you're being attacked or robbed or whatever in a highly populated area, you're LESS likely to receive help from those around you. It's the Bystander Effect. But while security is God knows where at 10:30pm when some classes get out (not many classes, though), they certainly aren't prevalent in those dark pathways students take to go to their cars... which I know from experience.

I haven't thought about volunteering at a school for rape stuff, but I'm so glad this all came up because I think it can work out without freaking me out much. Being back at this school is a little bit stressful because of the last rape being around the same time of year while I was in similar classes, etc. but volunteering for this might help me turn this around in a positive way.

I just hope I don't backtrack or have a nervous breakdown with all the exposure.

 

[cherryblossom]

I think volunteering is a great idea. But the only thing I will say, is to be careful to only do your voluntary work while you are mentally well. Because it may upset you, and bring back unwanted memories for you. You have to be very self aware of how you are, and while you want to help others, you have to look after yourself first. This may mean that occasionally you have to say 'no'. If you are unwell and try to 'help' others it could backfire, both on you and the person you are trying to help. That is just my word of caution.

Something that occurred to me as I was reading this again now (after reading your diary earlier), which WW has picked up on, is lighting. You say there are dark areas on campus, security say it is hard to patrol all those areas. What about increasing the lighting? I understand that's not cheap, but would surely be a good long term investment. Even if it was just those lights that work on motion sensors, or maybe solar powered lights, if 'green' is a consideration. Perhaps you could lead a campaign and fund raise for better lighting.... just a thought.

I suppose my 'volunteering as a form of therapy', is running this site. When I first started having flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, I spent a lot of time scouring the internet for information. I found many beautiful, well written sites about sexual abuse/assault, that helped me no end. Eventually I was diagnosed with PTSD and I found PTSDForum among others. But it was like a light switched on for me. I liked the whole approach of the forum, and learnt so much. Then I volunteered as editor/mod, because I wanted to give something back to a community that helped me so much. Anthony and Nicolette run an amazing site and I am very proud to help them to run it.

Now, here I am running this site. All I want to do here, is to help and support others, get everyone talking to each other and finding ways forward. I don't want to hold anyones hand and say 'there, there, I understand'. I want everyone to get involved, challenging each other, so that we can all move forward to a better life. If I say one single thing, to one single person that makes them think "you know what, I can do this. I can make my life better", then I have suceeded.

I was terrified to begin with.... thinking what do I know about running a forum? or giving advice to people? But I'm very proud of this site, and I love it more, every day I come here. I see strong, feisty members, mostly women, who have been through the most horrific ordeals, sharing their story, opening their hearts and their minds to each other in order to survive and most importantly to thrive. This forum is all about the members, and each and everyone of them is totally awesome in their own way.

 

[krystina]

You have very good ideas. I like the fact that you asked to run this website because it truely is amazing and because you thought of helping in the form of a website is even cooler.

 

[Crusoe]

Go for it ams. Think of the difference you could make. Just one action on your behalf can really start the butterfly effect in motion. In fact just by sending those emails you have already set the effect in motion. Thumbs up from me but I really would take CB's advice about looking after you first. I would make that my first rule actually.

 

[ams]

cherryblossom, I completely agree with you. I actually volunteered two years ago at Celebrate Recovery, which was a 12-step group kind of thing, but Christian-based. And I was asked to be a counselor for the women groups. I agreed and helped out every friday night, and I felt it was beneficial because of my psychology background and I felt it was good training for me. That was about a year and a half after the first rape, and I was at a pretty good point. I was happy and starting to date someone knew as of that September when the CR launched. Then Halloween was when that guy (I was dating) raped me. So.... I quit the volunteer gig. I had a month commitment and I quit after Halloween. I don't remember if it was a week after or immediately, but I quit. And I did to spontaneous volunteering over the course of time since then, but it wasn't really a long commitment deal like before. It would be for an event or something. I'm pretty good at keeping a healthy balance of what I can and cannot do, or knowing what I should and shouldn't do. If I feel like it'll push me over the edge, I don't do it.

Since I got the class syllabus in August for my Psychological Aspects of Human Sexuality class, I made a note of the day we will be discussing Rape and Sexual Coercion, etc. Which happens to be next wednesday, the 17th. I was planning on skipping that day. I emailed the professor months ago letting him know I might need to not attend that meeting. As of 24 hours ago, that changed. CVRT is going to print up a bunch of fliers for me because I volunteered to bring them to my class and use that discussion to get some awareness and have information and resources available if students need/want them. I emailed my professor asking permission and he said:

"That's a good idea. If you do that, I will begin class with the Sexual Coercion Material and finish up with Parpahilias, etc. because I firmly believe that the former topic is far more important to discuss in class. In fact, I was thinking about beginning class with the Sexual Coercion material any way. Your input and participation would be greatly appreciated and will be rewarded....huge extra credit!

Thanks"

Needless to say, I feel totally validated and like I'm turning my situation around a little bit and being more in control. I'm nervous but excited and I'm just glad I feel the support of my professor in that class.

 

[cherryblossom]

Well done Ams. You deserve the credit, and the support of your professor - good stuff :D

 

[WonderingWhy]

Ams,
WOW! What an empowering turn around you made! Excellent!

 

[Crusoe]

Way to go ams. It must be a great feeling to get that backing AND to feel that you are conquering something that you would otherwise have avoided. Very cool.