I have heard PTSD described as a roller coaster ride in several places on this forum and that is so accurate. And I am recalling that I was never terrible fond of roller coasters. I don't really like feeling discombobulated.
The past two weeks have been something else. We have been dealing with PTSD in a major was since my husband returned from Iraq 3 1/2 years ago. The actual PTSD is from several on duty shootings and fights as a police officer though. A medical injury related to one of those incidents led to a medical retirement from police work.
Husband was then recruited to go to Iraq to train their police chiefs. He did disclose the PTSD and was assured he would "just be in an office". That isn't quite what happened and his PTSD hit even worse and he barely made it back alive (the biggest threat to his life being himself)
We could not get him into a Psychiatrist quick enough to refill the meds they put him on yet knew he couldn't just stop them. He ended up in a lock-down facility with quite a few court remanded drug addicts and DUI offenders. Not really a great thing for a retired police officer. We discovered too that he has extreme panic issues at being confined at all. He had to be so sedated while there that no counseling of any sort took place.
We found an attorney specializing in helping PTSD suffererers get reimbursed and get the help. Evidently there is a law here that states that even if the disorder is pre-exsisting, if the company chooses to take the risk and the problem becomes worse, they are responsible. She helped us find a very good psychiatrist and psychologist and they have been working with husband for sabout a year an a half.
Of course there have still been bad spells....they have tried to convince him he will never work againa and needs to avoid all stress but he has trouble with that. We don't need him to work and he isn't but it really bothers him He can't seem to hold it together well enough to even volunteer at the kid's school or church though.
Recently things really took a downturn. He has always beat on his head to "stop the thoughts in his head" -how he describes when something triggers the memories. He says it causes pain which distracts him from the emotional pain. Two weeks ago though, he started cutting himself. It was always when I was at work and unavailable (which does happen as I am a police officer).
Initially I thought it was maybe an attention getting thing as it was always when I was on an arrest or something that I could not drop to run and help him. That did not seem to really fit though as he has never tried to manipulate me before. I then realized it all cooincided with an increase in Risperdal.
I tried to ask the DRs, of course the one prescribing the meds was on vacation. He did call hubby but only increased the med more. Hubby didn't think to ask him about whether the increase could cause the cutting.
Since then he has been so drugged he is only awake a few hours a day. We went to the psychologist and called him so often he finally realized things are really a lot worse and beyond what they can do out-patient. But....everyone knows he can't be locked down so they are trying to get him into a 30-45 day trauma treatment. Very expensive so a few people including the attorney are involved. They could have placed him here when he first came back, that is what was requested...now we are in this situation.
I was told by Drs I need to be here with him until they can get him placed because he is a danger to himself so I am on Family Medical Leave just waiting. I am so afraid of what he will do if this treatment doesn't get approved. I am also afraid of what will happen if it doesn't help at all. I mean I know by now the PTSD is here to stay but there has to be a way to teach him more effective coping skills that beating his head and cutting.
I apologize for the length of this...just a bit frustrated and venting right now...
The past two weeks have been something else. We have been dealing with PTSD in a major was since my husband returned from Iraq 3 1/2 years ago. The actual PTSD is from several on duty shootings and fights as a police officer though. A medical injury related to one of those incidents led to a medical retirement from police work.
Husband was then recruited to go to Iraq to train their police chiefs. He did disclose the PTSD and was assured he would "just be in an office". That isn't quite what happened and his PTSD hit even worse and he barely made it back alive (the biggest threat to his life being himself)
We could not get him into a Psychiatrist quick enough to refill the meds they put him on yet knew he couldn't just stop them. He ended up in a lock-down facility with quite a few court remanded drug addicts and DUI offenders. Not really a great thing for a retired police officer. We discovered too that he has extreme panic issues at being confined at all. He had to be so sedated while there that no counseling of any sort took place.
We found an attorney specializing in helping PTSD suffererers get reimbursed and get the help. Evidently there is a law here that states that even if the disorder is pre-exsisting, if the company chooses to take the risk and the problem becomes worse, they are responsible. She helped us find a very good psychiatrist and psychologist and they have been working with husband for sabout a year an a half.
Of course there have still been bad spells....they have tried to convince him he will never work againa and needs to avoid all stress but he has trouble with that. We don't need him to work and he isn't but it really bothers him He can't seem to hold it together well enough to even volunteer at the kid's school or church though.
Recently things really took a downturn. He has always beat on his head to "stop the thoughts in his head" -how he describes when something triggers the memories. He says it causes pain which distracts him from the emotional pain. Two weeks ago though, he started cutting himself. It was always when I was at work and unavailable (which does happen as I am a police officer).
Initially I thought it was maybe an attention getting thing as it was always when I was on an arrest or something that I could not drop to run and help him. That did not seem to really fit though as he has never tried to manipulate me before. I then realized it all cooincided with an increase in Risperdal.
I tried to ask the DRs, of course the one prescribing the meds was on vacation. He did call hubby but only increased the med more. Hubby didn't think to ask him about whether the increase could cause the cutting.
Since then he has been so drugged he is only awake a few hours a day. We went to the psychologist and called him so often he finally realized things are really a lot worse and beyond what they can do out-patient. But....everyone knows he can't be locked down so they are trying to get him into a 30-45 day trauma treatment. Very expensive so a few people including the attorney are involved. They could have placed him here when he first came back, that is what was requested...now we are in this situation.
I was told by Drs I need to be here with him until they can get him placed because he is a danger to himself so I am on Family Medical Leave just waiting. I am so afraid of what he will do if this treatment doesn't get approved. I am also afraid of what will happen if it doesn't help at all. I mean I know by now the PTSD is here to stay but there has to be a way to teach him more effective coping skills that beating his head and cutting.
I apologize for the length of this...just a bit frustrated and venting right now...
