MizCassily
New Here
Wow this forum is full of people who know exactly what my world is like. Loving someone too much to give up on them, taking more crap from them than you know you should cuz you know how badly they're hurting inside... Ok, well, here's my situation right now, and the specific problem I'm trying to work through:
I have a loved one with chronic or complex PTSD from being raised by a parent with borderline personality disorder (and being the designated "bad" child in the family) and the other parent is an emotionally battered (beginning with childhood abuse and continuing into the BPD marriage) and violent chronic alcoholic.
He never had much of a support system due to the manipulations of the untreated personality disorder and has still not learned how to function as a normal or healthy adult. He tends to have violent thoughts and suicidal desires, and I believe there may also be some untreated mild traumatic brain injury. He also tends toward self-sabotage, which we've learned is a common reaction to the BPD.
The problem is that he is aware that he is ill, but he just doesn't care. He feels as though he is a loser, that everyone is against him, and there's no way out. He tried to join the military, but was discharged quickly due to the PTSD and expressing suicidal desires, and he is now ineligible for any branch of public service. He grew up idealizing war heroes and believed that being a hero was the only way he could make a difference or be worthwhile, and now that that isn't a possibility, he sees no hope.
He has promised for years now not to kill himself because he's aware of the pain it would cause me, yet I can't convince him to care about himself enough to get help. He just sees no hope at all. Again, he has a very limited support system, as his self-sabotage was very destructive at one point, and he severed most of his relationships. I've stayed by because I'm concerned for his safety and he responds to my presence to a degree still.
I have over time softened his attitude toward treatment, but he feels like it will be unproductive because no one wants him. How can I help someone who feels this hopeless? He's about to turn 24 and absolutely believes he can do nothing with his life and that he isn't worth saving. We are in the middle of an episode now because he had some vague flashbacks the other day, then he tried to go back to visit the Army recruiting station and they weren't very kind or interested in seeing him. Oh he also has chronic insomnia from the PTSD, even on good days.
I have a loved one with chronic or complex PTSD from being raised by a parent with borderline personality disorder (and being the designated "bad" child in the family) and the other parent is an emotionally battered (beginning with childhood abuse and continuing into the BPD marriage) and violent chronic alcoholic.
He never had much of a support system due to the manipulations of the untreated personality disorder and has still not learned how to function as a normal or healthy adult. He tends to have violent thoughts and suicidal desires, and I believe there may also be some untreated mild traumatic brain injury. He also tends toward self-sabotage, which we've learned is a common reaction to the BPD.
The problem is that he is aware that he is ill, but he just doesn't care. He feels as though he is a loser, that everyone is against him, and there's no way out. He tried to join the military, but was discharged quickly due to the PTSD and expressing suicidal desires, and he is now ineligible for any branch of public service. He grew up idealizing war heroes and believed that being a hero was the only way he could make a difference or be worthwhile, and now that that isn't a possibility, he sees no hope.
He has promised for years now not to kill himself because he's aware of the pain it would cause me, yet I can't convince him to care about himself enough to get help. He just sees no hope at all. Again, he has a very limited support system, as his self-sabotage was very destructive at one point, and he severed most of his relationships. I've stayed by because I'm concerned for his safety and he responds to my presence to a degree still.
I have over time softened his attitude toward treatment, but he feels like it will be unproductive because no one wants him. How can I help someone who feels this hopeless? He's about to turn 24 and absolutely believes he can do nothing with his life and that he isn't worth saving. We are in the middle of an episode now because he had some vague flashbacks the other day, then he tried to go back to visit the Army recruiting station and they weren't very kind or interested in seeing him. Oh he also has chronic insomnia from the PTSD, even on good days.
