..and I'm glad I did find this site as I was going out of my mind!
It took me a while to find out that my partner had PTSD (years) as I just thought he was a committment phobe and after his two divorces, didn't want another relationship. I was initially ok with that, putting our on again/off again relationship down to just wanting to be single and fancy free but then, he kept contacting me and kept me in his life until I fell in love with him.
It broke up my marriage but I left an unhappy marriage (my husband is bi-polar and has OCD) and kinda felt like I went from the frying pan into the fire!! However, I didn't know at the time he was suffering anything.
We have never lived together because he keeps me at arms length and when he is having an episode (thats what I call them) he pushes me away, tells me he will never marry me and it will never work out. It is like he has a split personality and doesn't recognise who I am.
After our big last break up then him begging me to come back, he has changed. He knows he has PTSD (he is an ex-cop) and actually went to the police force to get help. He only lasted 2 sessions. Was too confronting.
He is actually trying very hard to not let his moods out on me and has been treating me very well, compared to before. For the first time he tells me he loves me and is constantly affectionate and loving. Sex has never been a problem (when we were together) however he would break up with around the 6 to 8 week mark and hook up with other women.
I still however, do NOT trust him. This is killing me more than his PTSD! His brother, who is also a sufferer (also ex-cop) told me only yesterday how hard it was for him(self) to get help and was more or less telling me to leave his brother, because it will only get worse. He said when his brother breaks up with me, he is extremely promiscuous (this made me feel so sick!). He thinks promiscuity is a symptom of PTSD but reading other posts here, it seems the opposite way!
It is possible he is simply a womaniser, but his PTSD just exacerbates it. I guess I won't ever really know.
All this talk about love not being enough is so right. I was only thinking about this when I came across this site and voila! There it is..people in my shoes. I thank God for this community because I really need to be around people who understand what I am going through. Thank you Antony.
I have decided I need to leave this relationship. I cannot force him to get help and although I love the man dearly, it breaks my heart to watch him suffer with the bad dreams/sleeps, the verbal abuse and outbursts of unreasonable anger, the drinking and of course the infidelity.
I am a very patient and forgiving person but even I need to say enough is enough.
I am going to confront him once more about getting help and just pray he does something.
I will let you all know how I go. Leaving someone you love is such a hard thing to do. But I deserve better!
Thanks for reading and listening.
Sarina xx
It took me a while to find out that my partner had PTSD (years) as I just thought he was a committment phobe and after his two divorces, didn't want another relationship. I was initially ok with that, putting our on again/off again relationship down to just wanting to be single and fancy free but then, he kept contacting me and kept me in his life until I fell in love with him.
It broke up my marriage but I left an unhappy marriage (my husband is bi-polar and has OCD) and kinda felt like I went from the frying pan into the fire!! However, I didn't know at the time he was suffering anything.
We have never lived together because he keeps me at arms length and when he is having an episode (thats what I call them) he pushes me away, tells me he will never marry me and it will never work out. It is like he has a split personality and doesn't recognise who I am.
After our big last break up then him begging me to come back, he has changed. He knows he has PTSD (he is an ex-cop) and actually went to the police force to get help. He only lasted 2 sessions. Was too confronting.
He is actually trying very hard to not let his moods out on me and has been treating me very well, compared to before. For the first time he tells me he loves me and is constantly affectionate and loving. Sex has never been a problem (when we were together) however he would break up with around the 6 to 8 week mark and hook up with other women.
I still however, do NOT trust him. This is killing me more than his PTSD! His brother, who is also a sufferer (also ex-cop) told me only yesterday how hard it was for him(self) to get help and was more or less telling me to leave his brother, because it will only get worse. He said when his brother breaks up with me, he is extremely promiscuous (this made me feel so sick!). He thinks promiscuity is a symptom of PTSD but reading other posts here, it seems the opposite way!
It is possible he is simply a womaniser, but his PTSD just exacerbates it. I guess I won't ever really know.
All this talk about love not being enough is so right. I was only thinking about this when I came across this site and voila! There it is..people in my shoes. I thank God for this community because I really need to be around people who understand what I am going through. Thank you Antony.
I have decided I need to leave this relationship. I cannot force him to get help and although I love the man dearly, it breaks my heart to watch him suffer with the bad dreams/sleeps, the verbal abuse and outbursts of unreasonable anger, the drinking and of course the infidelity.
I am a very patient and forgiving person but even I need to say enough is enough.
I am going to confront him once more about getting help and just pray he does something.
I will let you all know how I go. Leaving someone you love is such a hard thing to do. But I deserve better!
Thanks for reading and listening.
Sarina xx
