Wanting To Say Hello.....

[Fenris]

Well like everyone...I'd like to introduce myself....

My name is Fen, I'm 29, and I've read everything I could from the V.A.

I'm here to learn more about PTSD, and to find support for me and my fiance. He's been home from the Army for almost 2years now. He was in for 8years and did 2tours with the 101st Airborne. And I knew that he would have PTSD after all he's seen and done. At first he fully denied that he even had any symptoms, cuz he's so stubborn, but after filling out paperwork at the V.A., and finally listening to me about things that I've noticed, he's starting to come to terms. But that don't really matter, cuz, no matter what, he's not going to go to any counseling, cuz he refuses to talk to anyone about what he's seen/done, if that person has not gone through the same/similar things.

So I've come here to get advice from ppl that are goin through the same things that him and I are, and maybe even help others that are going through the rough and harsh times that we've already experienced.

 

[wife of]

Welcome Fen,you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink! I was in your situation about 15 yrs ago and then by the time the hubs realised he had a problem a few years later we were unable due to disinterested doctors to get him any help,this brewed for 14 yrs and this year has been horrendous,took some major life threatening events for the medical community to sit up and listen,although he's been begging for help.I don't write this to frighten you but to make the point that in my opinion early intervention, if it is on offer, will save both of you from a lot of heartache,maybe when things feel a little less raw you can get him on here,maybe even just leave the page up one day and leave the room for a while,curiosity might get the better of him,I'm guessing that it might be a touch of the "I'm a man and should be looking after my woman,my woman doesn't need to look after me "gene kicking in here ,aka male pride... good luck.

 

[Jimmy1]

Welcome Fen, did you know that some people don't get any symptoms or suffer at all from warlike situations. If you read through the posts you will find one I wrote.
Combat PTSD and PTSD in general is indiscriminate. Two people can be in the same situation and only one may suffer.
Anyway, I am just waffling. Read through all the threads and ask as many questions as you want and we will be glad to help.

Jimmy

 

[Fenris]

Link Removed...Yeah, he's always had the attitude. He's as stubborn as they get. But with all the problems that he's come home with...TBI, which causes migraines to creep up out of nowhere, he's in great shape, not over weight, but he has a heavy case of sleep apnea, and his left knee is going out due to being hurt while deployed. He's taken care of me for years, I've had back problems for over 6yrs now, had back surgery last year and due for another one soon...so when ever he gives me the "I'm the one that should be taking care of you" speech when ever he's down and out for 3days cuz a migraine, or can't walk cuz of his knee....I throw all the years of him taking care of me, even when he was in pain. But, no worries, none of that frightened me, I mean, yes it does, but I grew up a step-dad who was a Vietnam Vet, so I kind of know what's to come, and how to handle it. The past year or so my husbands flashbacks have been kicking up, and now other symptoms are starting to kick up as well. So that is why I've come here, cuz I know that, well at least with out a fight, he won't go for treatment, to see what I can do here, myself to help him, and our relationship. And thank you for response and support.

 

[Fenris]

Welcome Fen, did you know that some people don't get any symptoms or suffer at all from warlike situations. If you read through the posts you will find one I wrote.
Combat PTSD and PTSD in general is indiscriminate. Two people can be in the same situation and only one may suffer.
Anyway, I am just waffling. Read through all the threads and ask as many questions as you want and we will be glad to help.

Jimmy

Oh yes, I'm aware. And compared to a lot of other ppl that were in his company, or just other ppl that we know, he has been dealing with everything really well. But it's partly because he pushes everything down until he doesn't feel anything from it anymore, and then it sits and builds up, and that causes so many problems. We have been working on that.

 

[Jimmy1]

As you probably know, PTSD is suffered by people with varying types of trauma's. Everything from natural disasters, car wrecks, physical abuse, etc. However IMO, Combat related PTSD is probably the most different because of military conditioning.
You say that he pushes everything down until he doesn't feel anything anymore, that is military conditioning. He was taught to 'Suck it Up'. Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen are not allowed to have emotions, except anger.
Therapy will aid him greatly. They will coax it out of him and tell him its alright. Exposure therapy is great that way.
Good Luck.

Jimmy

 

[Fenris]

As you probably know, PTSD is suffered by people with varying types of trauma's. Everything from natural disasters, car wrecks, physical abuse, etc. However IMO, Combat related PTSD is probably the most different because of military conditioning.
You say that he pushes everything down until he doesn't feel anything anymore, that is military conditioning. He was taught to 'Suck it Up'. Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen are not allowed to have emotions, except anger.
Therapy will aid him greatly. They will coax it out of him and tell him its alright. Exposure therapy is great that way.
Good Luck.

Jimmy

Yeah, most the time it's because of that conditioning. But we've known each other since high school....not exactly high school sweet hearts...but a few years close enough...

He's been like that his whole life...it's the Irish in him. He says that too, he had to take anger management problems when he was younger. Plus it was just him, his mom, and his grandparents growing up, and his mom has been working for the prison system for over 25yrs now. And it was that way of being brought up that he knew he would be an outstanding Soldier...and he was...he still is. So since he was a baby he's been taught to suck it up. And I've been reaching the exposure approach for me to start, myself.

 

[femaleveteran]

Hey Fen...I also saw you at the other forum....I know I feel very conmfortable talking and sharing on this forum with other veterans because of the fact that they have been where I have been. I did three and half tours in Irq and I also have TBI in adddition to a leg injury from an IED. I know how the TBI can certainly affect ones mood and make one just slightly punchy. I hope your fiance can find someone that he finally will feel comfortabel talking with. I was just diagnosed with PTSD a little more than four months ago and I can honestly say that even though I have religiously attended the groups the VA has to offer I have learned far more in the week I have been coming to this forum than I ever learned at the VA so far. This is a really great place and I think you and, whenever he is willing, your fiance can find a lot of supportive people right here. I am sure many on here will say that this might not be a substitute for face to face counseling but for me it is helping a tremendous amount. And since theere is such a long wait between visits for individual counseling at the particular VA mental health clinic I have been going to this is really supplementing the group I go to which is the only weekly counsleing i have been able to get so far. My individual therapy has only happened once and there is a three month wait to see the counselor again. So I have another appointment coming up soon but I really do not get much out of that. Plus I feel she is so overbooked with people that it felt like the first time I went there that she could not wait to get me out of her office to make room for the next person.

I guess my point is that I hope you find as much support and information here as I have been able to find. I was in the Army for slightly more than 17 years and I have to say that this is the first time I have felt at home and comfortable around a group of people since I left the military. I really loved the military and I have missed it terrribly since getting out on my medical retirement. This place feels like its own little platoon though and I am sure you will find that everyone will be as supportive as you want them to be. I hope you feel welcome and I am glad to see you over here at this forum as well.

Sorry I tend to babble on and on as my brain does not always seem to stay completely on track either...bottom line is that these are great people and I think you will find that out just like I did. I hope one day to see your fiance on here as well. there are quite a number of people on here who have been through just what he has been through and then some.
Cheers to ya and have a good'n...Oh and sorry about the typos.

 

[Nate1]

Welcome to the forum