Wanting To Self-injure So Badly...

[ShodokanJenn]

I am struggling so much right now. I can see the cuts, feel the searing pain. If I had the means within reach, I would do it right now. But I cleared my bedroom and the attached bath of sharps, took an extra dose of xanax and I'm forcing myself to stay in bed. If it is this bad tomorrow, I will get help, from my T, my doc, or the hospital. For tonight I just need to know I am not alone.

 

[Chava]

No you're not alone. I've had to just stay put when I didn't trust myself well. I find a place to just be safe and curl up. Sometimes it helps to wrap a scarf or athletic tape around the part I want to cut or burn...the compression seems to soothe me but also reconnect me to my body somehow. Glad you reached out here and will reach out more tomorrow if needed too. One moment at a time...

 

[RavenGirl]

Hang in there, stay safe, and know there's people here who care and want you around in the world! :tup: :hug:

 

[Recovery4Me]

, from my T,

:hug: if you accept. You are most definitely not alone.

What is your agreement with your T? The reason I ask is that some members have expressed that they have a contract (of sorts to call, text or e-mail) their T when things heat-up so to speak. Some of my friends, have the emergency numbers placed on the frig during these time for reminders.

If you were going to help a friend, what are some of the help line numbers that you have found that were the most receptive to SI? Have you ever used any of these below (within USA)?:hug::hug:

*1-800-DON'T-CUT– More info on self-injury

*http://www.selfinjury.com– Referrals for therapists and tips for how to stop.

*1-800-273-TALK– A 24-hour crisis hotline if you're about to self-harm or are in an emergency situation.

*To Write Love On Her Arms (http://www.TWLOHA.com)- A non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide.

*1-800-SUICIDE– Hotline for people contemplating suicide.

*1-800-334-HELP– Self Injury Foundation's 24-hour national crisis line.

*1-800-799-SAFE– Domestic violence hotline.

*1-877-332-7333– Real Help For Teens' help line.

Again, welcome to the site and you are not alone....:hug:

 

[Jnean]

Last time I felt similar I drew on myself and felt like I was designing tattoos that I may or may not want to get someday, all, with a black marker like initial ink would be, that's the only color that I can do. Words have mostly been helpful although I have a thing for suns, moons, stars, so once I can get something out, I see where it takes me. The first thing I do is a favorite quote or a few words that I find positive, I have those written down in a cup on my dresser for easy access. It's hard. You are not alone. Hugs.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Last time I felt similar I drew on myself and felt like I was designing tattoos that I may or may not want to get someday, all, with a black marker like initial ink would be, that's the only color that I can do

Wow, total redirection and body art! Have you ever taken pictures of it or is that like too condescending in the moment afterwards? Thank you for sharing some of your toolset! :hug:'s if you accept

 

[Jnean]

I Accept hugs! Thanks and yes I have taken pics, sometimes that's been helpful to look at during any hard time really. I love being creative. Also I usually end up doing it facing myself not others so that I am looking at my drawing or written words and not so much the other way so others can view. This way if it's on my forearm, I can make it last a few days by going over it daily. Then I have it to look at when I need, I pull up my sleeve for example. It's helpful for me. Like you said, a tool in my toolbox

 

[Recovery4Me]

Touching base... warm thoughts.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I have a nephew who is a tattoo artist. He has hidden my worst scars and I haven't cut for a couple of years. It's time to get some more tattoos because it is so relaxing. In therapy, you learn to become aware of your body speaking to. When you can do that you can identify the trigger that leads to SI. Welcome.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

Thanks do much everyone. I stayed safe overnight. I just called my psychiatrist and left a message that I am not doing well @ND need them to call me back. So we will see what happens.

 

[Recovery4Me]

(((((Hugs))))) Good for you!!! Happy to see your wise self-care as well as your post!

You will love this board.:tup:

 

[ShodokanJenn]

(((Recovery for me))) I am seeing these boards @s a wonderful addition to my healing. Just wish I wasn't on such a down swing while getting to know everyone.