Gamera3000
Silver Member
I'm going to post about this here because I think it's hypervigilance.
My son is three and is starting at a new preschool next week. I stay home with him because of a physical disability and frankly also PTSD. So he's only going because he wants to, not because we need him to. It's just two days a week. And he's an only child because we are unable to have more children.
He went to a different preschool last year, for about a year, from 1 1/2 to 2 1/2. After a few months in the 2s class he became quiet and reverted on potty training. But said he liked it there and had many friends. I was called in one day because he refused to leave the playground and when they tried to carry him in they dropped him on his head. He's a large kid. When I got the incident report a few days later it said nothing about dropping him on his head and a lot about "misbehavior" on his part that they'd never mentioned before. Meanwhile, that same weekend, we ran into the assistant teacher at the mall and my son had a startling, very negative reaction to her. She was a young pretty girl, usually his "type", but he was clearly afraid of her. To this day, a year later, he will not walk past the store we saw her in. My husband and I did have a bad feeling about her the first time we saw her. We didn't talk about it at the time and had no reason for this. Like I said, she was young and pretty, did everything right (in front of us). The preschool offered no explanation or apology. So we took him out.
This new school is more of a "hippy" atmosphere. While I was there I observed an autistic kid having a meltdown and I saw how they dealt with him. He was about the same size (but a year older) than my son. They picked him up, moved him to a quiet area, then walked away from him and let him calm down on his own. Didn't make a big deal about it. I toured several other preschools and when I asked them what they do with that kind of thing, they said it "didn't happen." I'm not sure what kind of three year old doesn't have temper tantrums. I'm pretty sure they all do.
So my husband went with me last night. We met everyone and dropped off the school supplies. My husband was very put off by everyone's "fake" smiles and wanted to know what they were "really like." I would like to know that too, but I think the plastic smile is usual for child care workers. I am filling out all the paperwork to parent volunteer and to be as involved as I can. My husband and I are going to some church seminars this week. I figured the more we are involved and the more we know about all this the better we will feel, right?
This is hypervigilance, isn't it? I know I have to let my son go to school and do regular life things, but I can't forget that he was mistreated the last time I told myself I was crazy and didn't involve myself.
My son is three and is starting at a new preschool next week. I stay home with him because of a physical disability and frankly also PTSD. So he's only going because he wants to, not because we need him to. It's just two days a week. And he's an only child because we are unable to have more children.
He went to a different preschool last year, for about a year, from 1 1/2 to 2 1/2. After a few months in the 2s class he became quiet and reverted on potty training. But said he liked it there and had many friends. I was called in one day because he refused to leave the playground and when they tried to carry him in they dropped him on his head. He's a large kid. When I got the incident report a few days later it said nothing about dropping him on his head and a lot about "misbehavior" on his part that they'd never mentioned before. Meanwhile, that same weekend, we ran into the assistant teacher at the mall and my son had a startling, very negative reaction to her. She was a young pretty girl, usually his "type", but he was clearly afraid of her. To this day, a year later, he will not walk past the store we saw her in. My husband and I did have a bad feeling about her the first time we saw her. We didn't talk about it at the time and had no reason for this. Like I said, she was young and pretty, did everything right (in front of us). The preschool offered no explanation or apology. So we took him out.
This new school is more of a "hippy" atmosphere. While I was there I observed an autistic kid having a meltdown and I saw how they dealt with him. He was about the same size (but a year older) than my son. They picked him up, moved him to a quiet area, then walked away from him and let him calm down on his own. Didn't make a big deal about it. I toured several other preschools and when I asked them what they do with that kind of thing, they said it "didn't happen." I'm not sure what kind of three year old doesn't have temper tantrums. I'm pretty sure they all do.
So my husband went with me last night. We met everyone and dropped off the school supplies. My husband was very put off by everyone's "fake" smiles and wanted to know what they were "really like." I would like to know that too, but I think the plastic smile is usual for child care workers. I am filling out all the paperwork to parent volunteer and to be as involved as I can. My husband and I are going to some church seminars this week. I figured the more we are involved and the more we know about all this the better we will feel, right?
This is hypervigilance, isn't it? I know I have to let my son go to school and do regular life things, but I can't forget that he was mistreated the last time I told myself I was crazy and didn't involve myself.
