Sexual Assault 'We never deserved that'

[Patricia]

I was reading some of your messages and read this phrase 'we never deserved that'. It speaks to me somehow, how true it is and how hard it can be to actually believe it.
I was raped by a cop last year and for a long time I did feel guilty about it. Months later I had the courage to call a helpline to tell what happened to me. And all I can repeat after telling what happened was how I felt deeply guilty about it, as if I deserved what happened. As it was all my fault. I know now it wasn't but I've been a long long way to understand and feel it wasn't something I deserved.
I don't know for some of you who had been through a rape but for me the predominant feeling was guilt. Not shame (or maybe a little...), not anger but that. I don't know why.
No, we didn't deserve that. The fault is on the assailant, not you.
Take care.

 

[Movingforward10]

Yeah, I blamed me for decades. Blamed my genitals for making it so easy. Hated my body and myself for it. Felt that I was a rapist because I allowed myself to be raped.
Lots and lots of self blame.
It takes a lot of work to shift that blame on to the perpetrators.

The blame is solely theirs.

I'm glad you have been able to feel and see that.