We Vs I

[EveHarrington]

It makes tonnes of sense if you think about it.

I think it's the same reason why mob mentality takes over in public situations.

"We" means there is less/little/no personal ownership of what is said & what is done.

"I" means it's all on you.

People are willing to say/do more, up to and including the most heinous of acts when there is a decrease in personal ownership/responsibility

For those who grew up in defense mode, a highly critical environment------it's sort of natural to have this reaction.

Btw I use "we" myself. Well did. Can't recall using it as of late but then again I isolate a lot.

 

[Tinyflame]

I say 'we' (or 'us') just meaning a collective group of people in general (eg many people with ptsd, "maybe 'we' could benefit from such-&-such"). But lots of times I find it hard to say 'I' or 'me', if it's about having rights, or feeling a particular negative way. For eg to say, "well that's awful" but not "I feel awful".

 

[Naoru]

I used to do this as well until it was pointed out to me a few years back... made it a conscious effort to use I or me ever since, but I try to balance the line of trying not to sound too self-centered at the same time... but I don't think it was ever a problem in writing. I agree with the others - using we places a distance between yourself and what you're saying, decreasing responsibility and ownership. I think it may also demonstrate a lack of identification with one's self.

The only thing that continues to stick with me now is the use of my own name; if anyone calls me by name, it throws me for a loop and an introduction always feels so awkward and forced. I don't identify with it at all.

Interesting topic!

 

[StellaBlue]

This is absolutely fascinating - and so much of what folks have said resonate with me. I do think it was related to safety through depersonalization. As I said, it really hasn't been an "issue" for years, but it interesting and healing to make sense of my behaviors in the past - makes them less pathological I think.

 

[The Albatross]

Either "we" or in third person for a great many years for me til it cropped up in recovery and people were side barring me and asking me why? Well frankly I had no idea why... something I'd been accustomed to doing. But later on... when it was unpacked it was a safety thing and also because I was extremely low confrontational. Certainly don't have that issues (both but meaning the second bit) now do I? Heh.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I thought hard on this as to if and when I use we instead of I.

I do it sometimes when my inner child makes an apperence and though I dont have DID and my inner child doesnt take over, my emotional state changes and i feel younger and tend to sometimes say we as like me the child and me the adult. Its not all of the time and I didnt even noticed I did that until I wrote a poem "The wounded child's letter", where i used "we" a lot.

I used it when I was volunteering like "we brought down a puppymill today" but I think a lot of people do that when part of a group that does the same things. Like a job, some will do that. "We get a lot of irate customers calling in".

Its fascinating to see the replies here. Helps me to see why some uses it .

 

[Changing4Best]

I use "we" quite often when I mean myself. I cannot be referring to my husband and I, as he has died. I do recall my father, who was probably PTSD too, say "we" when referring to himself quite often, so I think I may have picked up the habit from him. I don't know. I just notice myself doing it quite often and I am not DID either. Nor to my knowledge, was my father. However, he was for sure a trauma victim, as his father was a horrible child and wife beater. This he did tell us, so I know, but I also know it first hand, as his father was my molester and abuser when I was a child. I was six before my parents finally figured it out, I think. They banned him from our house then.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I've been trying to understand this habit in myself. I say it a lot when I'm trying to hold myself together- a constant running inner monologue where I'm trying to coach myself through the day. Originally, I tried to brush it off. But I do think that it's a plurality (atleast to some extent) thing for me, or atleast dissociation. I'm a separate entity that is coaching my own self in those moments, if that makes sense.

But, like a car with a "baby on board" sign, I, too, have a dissociative disorder.