General Well Hubby Has Really Stepped Up To The Mark Tonight.

[amethist]

He has decided he is not going to contact them for the foreseeable future.

He understands now how he has let himself be drawn back into their world and how bad it is for him. He is not called when things are going well, only when things are going bad, though this time it was him who called them and got dragged in.

He is going back to to how he was with them before all this happened. He will see them occasionally, on his terms not theirs.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am happy he sees what to do. I am thankful to you about what you said. It helped me out too. It is real important to have strong boundries. I have to do this for myself with my sister.

 

[myvetswife]

Thumbs up to that!:tup:

 

[anni]

Heeee, yes, but when we chicks ride to the rescue, which is most of the time, we're being Nurturers, whihch seems a little unfair since no one provides us with that nice, white horse. Just crocheted pot-holders for the chicken soup.

I like his post-game summation, as it were, Amethist. I haven't been the folks living with this day in, day out like you have of course so couldd ccompletely be wrong. It does stilli sound like there's been progress. I disremember reading in the past of his ability to cope in a positive manner, after a crash.

Please excuse typos- keyboard appears to be infested today, long story requiring flashlight with a relative's name on it. Whatever is on here this time is causing this to be wildly reactive, like a good PTSD keyboard would be anyway.

 

[Bilby]

I'm sorry all of this has happened. It was sounding so positive to begin with - much like your husband, my husband is excellent in an emergency also. It is other every day things that can be so very difficult at times.

It sure sounds as though his family is quite toxic and don't know anything about respecting boundaries :(

 

[Sunshine71]

Just a quickie - in laws who would have them?

We are strict veggies and my mother in law let my son try a dog biscuit at Xmas when he was at her house.

Hubby went mad - really made him ill and threatened never to see here again :O(

I was so upset too.

This seems to set hubby back again to wanting to end his life and not know who I was again.....

Thanks mother in law!!!

Sunshine xx

 

[ISupportHer]

Amethist,

Did things return to normal there? I know it is an up and down thing and I sure wish that he could learn not to react to problems with a trip to the pub.

Thinking about you both.

ISH

 

[amethist]

He has returned to normal and has not been in touch with them since.

If this happens again he is going to come home and talk to me first. Hoping I can calm him down and distract him from going to the pub.

 

[Sailorgal]

That's great Amethist. But I think the issue is really going there next time. I suggest a better action plan, maybe calling you when he is there or something. You can guarantee what will trigger when he arrives at the scene of the crime. ;)

 

[amethist]

We know what triggers him, its his mother.

She is so unpredictable, never knowing what frame of mind she is going to be in when he gets there.

 

[Sailorgal]

(((Amethist)))

How about a set of earplugs???

It's always hard whn it's mom isn't? It's good he recognizes that and that you two are in agreement on coping with it. :)

 

[Nicolette]

I thought this time it would not happen. I was wrong, now I have to pick up the pieces.

I'm sorry I'm behind on this and sorry for what has happened. It's a real huge disappointment when you think their progress is so good and one incident sends them flying back. I find its harder on us too as you get used to them being better so a backslide tends to be harder to fathom when you are not in the mindset for it - having had them well.