Relationship Well It All Hit The Fan ....

[Sunshine71]

Well

We have had 2 OK days and yesterday was the best hubby had been in ages.

We invitied his mum round for dinner and had a nice evening on Monday.

Yesterday he did have some flashbacks while out - however he handled it and was OK. So much so that we even went to London for a small 'networking' event. There were some really interesting people there and hubby was great. Talking and having a good time.

We even got a bite to eat after walking along holding hands.

This morning he needed to give me some information as the family credits people need it now.

Well it all hit the fan.

Laying in bed, not talking - didn't go out as arranged to take some photos.

However I lost it and was shouting for him to get out of bed. I wanted to try something else -I ended up opening his eyes for him as he wouldnt and shaking him.

Now he is a really big guy 6 foot 3 and well built.

I am embarrased to be telling you however I wanted to see if it would break his pattern.

We had a talk and he has calmed down. I have been crying and hoping my face calms down before picking our son up from school.

He just says that he has no purpose in life ......

He is trying to work on his new career and doing freelance work. However no one is getting back to him (they dont even know about the PTSD) I say that its an exciting journey and how many people would love to do something they love rather than their job that they hate and just do for money.....

He cant see this of course.....

Now I am behind with my work big time and stressed out.

I have called the mental health team (NHS) and they said that he is now on the waiting list - we should hear in 4 months.

I said that we simply cant wait 4 months.

We cant go on without help now........


Thanks everyone.....

Sunshine

 

[wife of]

If you think he is in anyway suicidal then please make sure you bypass the gp and loca mental health team..instead call up the local mental health crises team number..usualy at the nearest a and e....they will get him seen faster and admit if needed either voluntary or under section....many folks do not realise they are a different pathway into services...

 

[Sunshine71]

Thanks Wife Of - I called the Mental Health Team and already having waited for months they said you are now on the waiting list and you hopefully will get someone in 4 months!!!

I said that we couldnt wait that long at all.

We are now going to see one of the team in 2 weeks - we saw him for an assessment before Xmas and he seems a good down to earth guy.

Hubby was in a fowl mood and avoided us last night.

He sat with me at 9.30pm said he was really sorry and loves me.

We went to bed at 11pm and he just changed again snapping at me and is still in a slump this morning.

I am SO tired.

We even have a meeting this morning to do with a benefit - a tribunal to say look he isnt ready to work.

Great stuff.

These are bad enough but god knows how its going to be.

I should be getting ready - but I am going back to bed even just for 5 min.....

With love Sunshine x

 

[amethist]

Sunshine dont let him tell them how good he is, make him somehow tell them how bad he is, even if you do have to wind him up before you get there.

They are awful people to deal with, I hope it turns out well for you. If not appeal with everything you have paper work, med reports, throw the lot at them.

Amethist

 

[Toria]

Oh Sunshine - I don't honestly know if depression goes hand in hand with PTSD but I presume that it does and he sounds as if he's dug himself a hole that he can't now find a way back out of. I am really glad that you have managed to find him some help sooner rather than later and am keeping everything crossed for you that it will help you both. It is such an awful place to be in for you both and I'm thinking of you x

 

[KP the nut]

(((Sunshine))) you are both in my thoughts.

 

[Sunshine71]

Thank you amazing ladies.....

Well we won the appeal so it is confirmed that hubby isnt well enough to work we we get a tiny amount of £'s just really that goes towards petrol and 'pocket money' for hubby.

He still isnt fully back from the slump - I have 20 min and then need to pick my son up from school so will work when he is home (instead of spending the time I want to but hey its got to be done)

Tomorrow is the our spa day for my birthday so hoping that we can enjoy the day and weekend.

Thanks so much everyone

Sunshine xxx

 

[wife of]

The spa day sounds well timed.
;)

 

[amethist]

Glad it turned out as you hoped Sunshine. x x x

The pounds may not add up to much, but at least it is now official that he is too ill to work.

 

[wife of]

Yep I agree its not realy about the pittance is it ,it's more about getting the "Jeremy Kyle" type monkeys off your back. I hate the way our country treats people who have to rely on the benefits system.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

I wish that I could like that post 1000 times!

I hate the way our country treats people who have to rely on the benefits system.

 

[KP the nut]

I hate the way our country treats people who have to rely on the benefits system.

Can I rephrase this?

I hate the way our country treats people who genuinely need to rely on the benefits system.

I see friends who are being treated worse than criminals because they have a genuine need and do not like or know how to 'play' the system. Dispicable.

At least, for you and H it is some sort of official recognition.

Have a wonderful relaxing spa break - you deserve it.