Well, That's Crappy

[Emilie]

I sent an email to my last therapist saying I think I finally realize the significance of treating my ptsd with medicine and working with a professional, and that I'd like to go back to our sessions. (if you've seen any of my posts here, you'll know that I never knew much about ptsd and thought pretty much oh *bad thing happened can't get over it* not okay my brain is rewired and I'm going to get crappy symptoms if I dont treat myself. I'm like a deer in headlights now that things are so bad.)Anyway It was about 3 paragraphs long, and I put my heart into writing it, and her response was, "By the way, I am trained to treat PTSD" and that's all. Like I was putting her down or doubting her. Isn't she suppose to help me? I so fed up with this BS I want to flip on her. Or maybe I am overreacting and we're not on the same page. I just found it to be quite quippy given the situation. If she really was trained in PTSD, she should know that I'm paranoid and she's pissing me off. This actually is the second time, because I once missed an appointment because of my memory, and she was like "Well if you don't want sessions we can stop" but I assumed once again that I was overreacting.

I wonder if I should just tell her how badly she sucks and find another therapist.

 

[Dee Morris]

It seems a bit abrupt to me but some people work well with her personality type. It doesn't sound like you are one of those people. If that's the case maybe it would behoove you to interview other potential therapists.

I'm a little curious about how you envisioned her response when you were writing your email. You seem more disappointed by her response than put off. kwim? Like you just spent an entire day drawing her a beautiful picture & then when you present it to her she barely glances at it then just tosses it aside.

 

[The Albatross]

I read this earlier... good response Dee. My reaction similar but with a twist. The twist being... heaping a bunch of emotional stuff and retrieving an offending incident to give it energy... is just another way to stay in contemplation instead of going back to therapy. If you're ticked off with her, you don't need to do anything... even if she's qualified. My mind works that way to keep me in contemplation, avoidance, and procrastination (not saying yours does Emilie)... Either get a consult with another PTSD shrink or resolve your feelings and see this one. Just don't let your disappointment become a reason to not seek the help you need please?

 

[Srain]

Emilie, I guess, this is one of the reasons I prefer therapy in person, text and the written word leaves out the facial expressions or that one second opportunity to say "umm, what?" and begin the uncomfortable dialogue that could be the break-thru or break-off. Unless, of course, you have visual with the internet.

I feel for where you are at. If you are inclined to work more with her then perhaps you will need to clean out old stuff, if not then maybe move on, it is entirely your choice.

good luck,
Peace,
Rain

 

[OKRADLAK]

THoughtless!! When someone pours out their heart and then the other person fulffs it off?? That to me is rude.

You deserved validation!

I am sorry she was so rude. I am sure she was just busy and did not mean to hurt you. But PTSD T's should know how sensitive we are!!

 

[Dee Morris]

We all deserve validation but that doesn't mean we are going to always receive it in the manner in which we think we should. We also can't expect the others in our lives to always respond to us with kid gloves. That includes our therapists.

Albatross, Excellent point!

 

[Lucycat]

I have had just one appointment with a psychiatrist, but I know he has been working hard behind the scenes supervising and guiding my therapist in how to progress.

At the moment I am feeling great, so earlier this week I sent an email to the psychiatrist to tell him how great I am feeling and to thank him for his input.

I had a very polite reply. Thanking me for the update and ' if I continue to work with the T I will get better'. It pissed me off because I thought I WAS better.

I know it was an overreaction on my part. I am sure he meant no offence, and was probably just stating a fact, but it has taken me a few days to get round to that way of thinking.

Emilie, I would be surprised if your T realised the way in which you interpreted the reply. If it were me I would let the T know that you were upset by the reply and give her a chance to explain. If you are otherwise happy with the therapy she provided then I would not let this deter you. As others have said, text communication is prone to mistakes because it lacks tone and body language.

By the way, I am trained to treat PTSD

could be interpreted as 'I really do hear you and understand ' if said in a soft voice with compassion.

 

[TLight]

I think it was rude and abrupt. If she is the type of person who communicates the way that sentence reads, that I don't think she is thinking of her client's emotional needs first, she is thinking of herself.

That being said, sometimes people are weird on e-mail. Sort of like I'm weird on the phone. But being a therapist, you'd think she knows this about herself.

For me, granted I have PTSD, well, I wouldn't trust her after that. Or I should say it would be a long time before I could trust her again. For me, once trust is destroyed, it's destroyed pretty much for good.

Again, I think it's rude and unfeeling.

 

[Emilie]

Yeah, I see both perspectives on this one. I'm still amped about it too. It really makes my adrenaline surge.

I guess the idea of rudeness stems from the fact that I have seen her negative expressions and reaction to me being late a few times so now I'm assuming the worst of her intentions. I have extremely severe CPTSD and I feel like I know more than she does. She just graduated and has been in practice for 1 year. I do however have a tendency to expect the worst from everyone...

Thank you Dee and albatross for making me look at this a bit more objectively.

 

[Dee Morris]

Maybe someone a bit more experienced would be a better fit for you. It sounds like her bedside manner is a bit rough & that could hinder your trust in her. Doesn't mean she is untrustworthy, but if you don't trust her reactions toward you it might be best to move on.

 

[Sarrah]

Hi Emilie, I'm sorry that I am late replying to this, but being triggered by a therapist is a very real phenomenon, one I have a lot of personal experience with, and one that the right professional for you will be able to manage. Someone who has only been practicing for a year probably (almost definitely) does not have the skills required to treat something as intense as C-PTSD. It's a demoralizing pain to shop around for a therapist when you need help, but it is absolutely necessary. You can't get started with someone who triggers you, it just won't work. How could it? If you can find someone in your area who specializes in C-PTSD, therapy will be like a different world. It's amazing to think of all the time I wasted with therapists who couldn't even properly diagnose me, let alone treat me. Therapists are a lot like doctors; they tend to specialize due to the huge volume of information, techniques, research, etc. that is required knowledge to be an expert in that area. Kind of like how you wouldn't see a dermatologist for a heart condition. That said, therapists aren't as obvious in their specializations, so you often have to ask them yourself to get a good idea what they have actual working experience with. And please keep in mind that any therapist who gets defensive about describing their qualifications is always the wrong one for you.


Keep shopping, and good luck! :)

 

[OKRADLAK]

It is hard indeed. I get triggered just hearing about people being triggered by a T! But I am learning to try to be more objective. COmmunication really helps. I tend to be blunt to them and those that can take it, well, we get through it.