Went To Aa Meeting Last Night, First One, Does It Really Help Any?

[Ellabella44]

my therapist suggested since I am still wanting to drink right now, that I try a meeting. It will be 5 months sober on the 20th for me and when my symptoms are bad with eiether anxiety or depression I want to get numb again. This is my 7th and longest try to get sober. The last night I drank I was suicidal, but the thought of my kids and husband finding me out in the yard the next morning, as well as not being able to stand up to get a knife stopped me.

I dont want to end up that bad again. I bought myself a ring for self harming, and a ring for drinking to remind me not to be stupid like that again. Has been that long for the harming since i mostly did it when I was drunk. Not sure if going to these meetings will help or not.

I'm not all that religious for well reasons in my background, and they talked about giving up your will... um thats the only thing keeping me from doing that again. I started drowning myself to numb out thinking I was loosing my mind. the will to not end up like that again is how ive gotten this far. So has checking yourself in to this helped any?

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Yes, I've done it and it was helpful. It helped give me some purpose.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/alcoholics-anonymous.31349/

I'm also pretty much secular at this point and I still found it helpful. Just don't always get 'religious' mix up with 'spirituality' in these cases. Just take it with a grain of salt if that part doesn't help you. What really helped was how available it was (there must be 5+ meetings I can go too if I wanted) and how open it was and how it was in fact, anonymous.

I've been thinking of going back.

Best wishes.

 

[arfie]

It helped me, Ellabella. I group hop ALLOT to help me balance all those anxieties over "checking myself in," but learning how to share and ask for help before my yaddahs grow into a full crisis was/is an important part of my healing. A world bigger than little, ol' me is still wa-a-a-ay outside my comfort zone, but I feel like I heal a little bit every time I stretch that particular comfort zone.

 

[StellaBlue]

I never found AA to be very helpful - it was too rigid and dogmatic. And I met some of the sickest people I've ever met in AA. What eventually helped me most was realizing that my binge drinking was, like you said, an attempt to numb my symptoms - so it became a symptom too. What has helped me most is learning grounding skills for when the anxiety is very high and distress tolerance skills for when the depression is showing up. I found DBT to be immensely helpful with helping me learn these skills. I think your recognition of why you want to drink in a dangerous way is a really good step in the right direction.

That said, I know a lot of people have found support and benefit in AA. You might want to give it a chance. There are no easy ways, but there are a lot of different paths. There's a book by Charlotte Kasl called Many Roads, One Journey that might be helpful.

 

[judypieking]

They say to do 90 meetings in 90 days .. I know that is sometimes impossible but it does really help.. Keep trying !! <3

 

[Changing4Best]

I went to OA (Overeaters) and it is run by the same basic procedures. I found it very helpful and still go to a similar group now. I think that old saying that there is strength in numbers is very true. As to the higher power aspect of it, one person in our group said that whenever they thought of doing the old pattern of things, they grabbed a doorknob and held onto it until all was well again and they knew the cravings were over. They decided that that doorknob was the higher power that they needed, so really, your higher power can be anything or anyone. Another person I knew said they prayed, even though they had no idea who they were praying to. So there are many ways to deal with that aspect of the program.

Also the fact that you have a sponsor is so wonderful. You can call them any time and it is like having support available always. Since they have been through the rough parts already and they know the road you are travelling well, they can help you a lot.

Have fun!

 

[The Albatross]

I did AA... and I did the suggestions (like 90 meetings in 90 days, getting a sponsor, doing service work) and I got sober. Had some difficulty and a couple relapses... and backed it up with SMART Recovery online for a few years plus.

The fallacy about willpower is this: If it has gotten you "this far", yet you find yourself suicidal and drunk, drunk enough that you can't get up to get a knife but that's a good thing... your own best thinking got you there and maybe it's time to get some peer support.

 

[Ellabella44]

that was nearly 5 months ago that i was drunk and suicidal, its the will to not go there again that has me where i am now, and some times its a fight to not go back, after that night strongly think that if i get drunk again ill be back there.

hoping after im on something to help with symptoms of this that I wont get to the point where i want to drink again. My t thinks i need more support since I have stopped checking in with my sis in law. so have been wondering if trying this will get me anywhere. thanks for replies, I guess ill go to a few and see how things go.

 

[The Albatross]

If you prefer a secular approach (I used both for a very long time) try SMART Recovery online? I benefited from a lot of the materials that were in their "tool box" and their approach is more REBT/CBT/ACT/DBT. They do have a peer check in section.

 

[Ellabella44]

hmm, thats a thought, she also wants me to expand my social circle, which now is well just online and occasionally family. I really dont get out much.

bookmarked it to read later on thanks

 

[KwanYingirl]

AA I owe you big time. 90 meetings in 90 days. Some days two meetings. There are open meetings and closed meetings, big book meetings and my favorite step meetings. Try them all. I have been sober for 23 years. I never minded if people mentioned God or any kind of religion. Can't recall if I ever actually heard it. You're in a support with people with PTSD. It is helpful-yes? AA is a self help phenomenon. I learned to have coping skills, I learned how insidious substances are and came to believe it was my lack of healthy coping styles were keeping me in a drunken stupor. I've heard people say they take the cotton out of their ears and put it in their mouth. Those people got sober and they work their program by sharing their story. Don't worry about the religion concern, a Higher Program is something you find for yourself.

 

[BloomInWinter]

AA saved my life. I'm an atheist and still attend a meeting a week because it's a trauma-informed closed women's meeting.

When they talk about "GOD" in AA, I was encouraged to define it however was meaningful to me. So, I think "Good Orderly Direction." Others are welcome to choose whatever their higher power means to them. Some people define a group as a higher power, at least in the beginning. Others, nature. Many, established religious affiliations. All are perfectly ok.

The idea is that we are spiritual beings too and need a connection outside of ourselves. In our meeting I attend now, we choose to define a higher power as "a personal search to find meaning in our lives."

The steps and bumper-sticker talk are just recommended skills. You get to choose what you want to try. Though I finally got sober when I did try them all, instead of just doing it my way.

There are sick people in AA, and there are a lot of unsafe people. But there are also far more safe people who are just like us. Hurting and in need of relief from emotional pain, they chose alcohol as a coping mechanism until it turned on them. I've met some of the kindest, most admirable people I've ever known.

I don't speak about my traumas in the AA meetings. They aren't for processing trauma, but for cleaning up our lives and stabilizing ourselves so we can be safe dealing with the trauma in an appropriate therapeutic environment.

It's not for everyone, but it was the thing that literally saved my life when I was drowning myself. I'm going on 25 years sober this October.