Wet dream involving my mother

[tofubreadcoriander]

I keep having these over in a while wet dreams involving my mother. Last night I dreamt of sneaking into her room while she was asleep and grabbed her by her breast waking her up moaning just for her to realize what's happening and be repulsed by all of it. When I had my mental breakdown/psychotic episode, I masturbated by imagining having sex with my mother in an attempt to conquer my father (imaginary). Since then even if I masturbate to meet my sexual needs by watching porn (for example) I get intrusive thoughts of my mother which excite me but which I push them away in repulsion. What the hell is happening? It's disgusting and weird. I have a history of CSA due to fondling coming from my father and molestation by an older neighbor.

 

[Teal]

I’m sorry this is happening to you. It’s very brave to talk about it.

I have intrusive thoughts similar - it’s important to remember that you are a separate entity to such thoughts. It is a reflection of who you are how you react to those thoughts rather than having them in itself.

 

[Rose White]

It’s just trauma shit. You can condition yourself using behaviorism to not have those thoughts while masturbating but it takes a while with a considerable amount of effort.

 

[tofubreadcoriander]

It’s just trauma shit.

Thanks.

You can condition yourself using behaviorism to not have those thoughts while masturbating but it takes a while with a considerable amount of effort.

Won't this just push them away and make them appear in another fashion?

 

[Rose White]

push them away and make them appear in another fashion?

I don’t know. With behavioral conditioning you have to replace a behavior or thought with another one. People use conditioning to transform or eliminate rape fantasies, which are common for survivors.

Conditioning is also used to reduce suicidal ideation and self harm.

Nor sure what you mean when you say appear in another fashion. The goal isn’t to get rid of fantasies altogether but to replace the ones which distress you with ones that don’t send you into a spiral afterwards.

 

[Friday]

Common enough there’s a name for it… Oedipal Complex.

The original psychological theory itself been utterly disproven, (most strongly by the psychodynamic school of thought, which is what evolved from Freud’s original work a century ago), along with the rest of the psychosexual nonsense Freud posited… BUT… sexual fixation on mother/father (or figures) is still short handed as Oedipus/Electra. Because it’s just that common.

What was debunked was Freud’s cause/effect (people have this with amazing parents, as well as terrible/abusive/sexually abusive) & global nature (nope, most children don’t go through a psychosexual phase in early childhood, it’s almost entirely restricted to a smallish subsection of CSA survivors, but most? Were abused by a non-parent, the parent themselves became a safe-space / focus of desire because they NEVER abused them, but the child still had the impulse to act out their sexual abuse in a loving environment, hence, the safe/loving parent. But most? Isn’t all. There simply is no direct cause/effect.).

 

[tofubreadcoriander]

Were abused by a non-parent, the parent themselves became a safe-space / focus of desire because they NEVER abused them, but the child still had the impulse to act out their sexual abuse in a loving environment, hence, the safe/loving parent. But most? Isn’t all. There simply is no direct cause/effect.).

My mother is abusive. She says hurtful things. Not immediately, but once she gains your trust. Don't know if she sexually abused me but I think there's incest there. Wouldn't I avoid deem her a safe person?

 

[Friday]

My mother is abusive. She says hurtful things. Not immediately, but once she gains your trust. Don't know if she sexually abused me but I think there's incest there. Wouldn't I avoid deem her a safe person?

It happens with both amazing AND abusive parents.

Similarly, it’s super common with rape & abuse victims of every age to be turned on by dreams/thoughts of their abuser &/or rapist, to fantasize about both sex with their abuse and rape (with or without their abuser) as well as to have terrifying nightmares & be disgusted by them. Sometimes? At the same time, or in succession, or this week / that week.

^^^All of which^^^ is a big part of why Freud’s theory was debunked. There simply is no direct/causal relationship. Trauma victims? Span the whole durn spectrum, often times -but not always- in their own lives. The effects of trauma are FAR more complicated than he imagined, as well as not something that people without trauma histories go through. As the effects of trauma? Are the heart/mind DEALING with trauma.