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General What are they thinking?

Yesterday, I learned a little about J's reason for isolation.

We have been on the go for a few weeks now so yesterday I wasn't surprised he would sleep the day away. (Gives me time to take care of me and catch up on housework). It was a beautiful day yesterday, cooler temps than recent days. At one point he woke up and apologized for being lazy. "I just can't keep my eyes open". Another time he woke up he said " We should be out enjoying the day. But I can't be around people today. Wait. It isn't even the people that bother me. I'm safe here at home. If I leave the house, something bad will happen. I know it isn't true but that is what my brain is telling me".

So, he has had to be vigilant for weeks and it wore him out. He feels safe at home and can let his guard down. And he sleeps. Makes complete sense to me.

He works so hard and pushes his comfort zone, for me. He says all the time "I would do anything for you. I always want to make you happy and give you what you want and need".

He is the most loving, caring and giving person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Today he wants to go to the beach and do some swimming and kayaking. Pack a lunch and enjoy the day. Quite and relaxing. We shall see. I'll leave it up to him to decide. He may need to stay home again and I'm good with that too.

(Love you, J. XO)
 
Thread starter #1,144
So, he has had to be vigilant for weeks and it wore him out. He feels safe at home and can let his guard down. And he sleeps.
yep --- but instead of sleeping I just kind of shut down in a corner and do things like play kids video games, color, don't speak, blah blah

Having a supporter who gets that? I can't even tell you how much that helps :hug:
 
Hi, @Freida!! Yea. He sleeps and vegges out in front of the tv. He didn't shower since Wednesday so he was pretty ripe yesterday. Lol. It's been 100 degrees or better here. I had to make him take a shower. That was tricky!! 😉

I'm thinking more about it and how it pertains to his traumas. And how it all cycles.

Things are going great. Symptoms are minimal and controllable.
Feels safe.
(All while being hypervigilant. Because people could die at any moment. (I don't think this will ever change. Although it has different levels and outcomes. We have talked about it many times.)

A trigger or stressor pops up and the cup runneth over.

He can't be Srg. So -n- So if he isn't 100% "on". So stay home where it's safe until he can be "fit for duty". He would have never put his troops in danger because he wasn't "feeling good". He had to be totally ready for what was to come. So he would never put me or anyone in danger now. Stay home until he's feeling more like the soldier he was/is and always will be.

These are just my thoughts on it. I have no idea if I'm even close but it make sense to me. He is a protector by nature and if something happens because of a mistake or he let his guard down. Or he was tired. Ugh. I don't even know how bad that would be.

We decided to stay home and hang out on our little lake. He can fish and I'm gonna pull some weeds in the yard. Take a swim or float in the water. Maybe have a couple beers and bbq later. He wants a steak so off to the meat market I go. 😊💜💜💜

Have you seen your horses lately? Love you my friend!! 💐
 
Thread starter #1,146
So stay home where it's safe until he can be "fit for duty". He would have never put his troops in danger because he wasn't "feeling good". He had to be totally ready for what was to come. So he would never put me or anyone in danger now. Stay home until he's feeling more like the soldier he was/is and always will be.
Yep. Make a bad decision and people die.
.
Something really tough for people to wrap their minds around because it sounds so melodramatic. But it's not. It's just our reality
And I don't think we will ever totally leave it behind - it just becomes who we are.
 
Actually what you describe right here. Sorry to talk about vet + the coronavirus again... but I think thats exactly how my vet sees the coronavirus. Like: you make a little mistake and it only waits for that and kills you. Like it’s somehow scheming, plotting to hurt as many people as possible.
I am feeling restricted in what I am “allowed“ to do... because whenever I want to do something normal like buy a hot dog or a muffin outside, or go horseback-riding with a friend who is not in our “safe circle“ he is opposed to it because he thinks it exposes you to the coronavirus and then he panics and begs so that I don’t do it.
I make sure that our kids have a number of normal activities and take them out but still very restricted when I am not even allowed to buy them a hotdog (and cannot explain them in a age appropriate way why not). Basically my vet is afraid that people sneeze or cough on the hotdog buns. I cannot explain to them without making them fearful.
We are planing to expand our comfortable but he has such a negative attitude about it.

Basically he feels that the coronavirus is just waiting for people to feel careless again and then - bang - second wave.

@LuckiLee
Sounds so sweet how you talk about your vet ❤.
 
How about at-home hot dogs?
With your fresh bread, and buy some nice hot dog sausages. Cook them at home, and the kids (sorry not sure how old they are) can add their own squiggles of mustard and ketchup?

I'm sorry he's so hung up on this, it must feel really restrictive on top of what is already a very restrictive time.
 
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