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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

" I want the support of a cohesive and happy family"

Greenfrog2, I relate to how you're feeling. I have struggled for years with my desire to heal my whole family so that we can actually be a real family that loves each other. In the past year I have slowly been letting go of this need and desire, and it's been hard at times, and empowering at others. It's like I've had to really change the way I'm looking at it all, and that's hard to do sometimes. The heart wants what it wants. I find comfort by reminding myself that even though I've been through so much crap, I still have a heart that knows how to love. When I read your post, It seems to me that your heart is trying to love, it's the subject of your hearts love that is problematic...
 
Today is just a very stressful day. I feel this stress throughout my head and body. My fingers are cold and clumsy and mind slow and bogged down. Overall I feel like processed sh't, ....yet not chiefly due from chemical processing, (well cigg's, yes - that's right) but mostly industrial processing. :nailbiting:

I feel like I'm on the verge of delirium from too great of stressors and illness slowing me down and making me overwhelmed. There is that point in which stress turns to either delirious humor or insanity. I won't even mention which I prefer; fear I might get the exact opposite.

Anyhow, so long and have a Happy 4th of July. :p

(LOL)
 
It was one of those evenings where I tossed and turned. Kept wondering what was going on. My thoughts wouldn't stop and I had to look at that thought and then another.

The thoughts were about my feelings, and how one after the other, were about how I grew up, being invisible, and how those feelings of not existing, have played out in my life, over and over by certain people that have been in my life!

It might have been a restless night, but am grateful for the awareness and insight that I am having!
 
I agree with Lema. I believe that the heart wants what it wants and to actually let go of the notion is really, really hard to do. The idea of a cohesive and loving family is becoming a lingering fantasy in my own head as reality rears its ugly head of rivalry and division. It's the facts that are hard to accept and the truth of my past to let go of. It is easier when you have full support and attention of others around you; otherwise, it's an uphill fight.
 

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