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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Was more aware this morning, of how much anxiety I have. I'm so used to just heading towards a store after I get up, that this morning, I didn't. I kicked back, and then noticed that I needed to take some meds which I haven't been doing in the mornings.

I would like to think that I'm adjusting to the releasing of a lot of trauma that I had pushed down for so long, and now I'm allowing it to be there so I can feel it. I did much better by waiting to leave the house in the afternoon.
 
I had stomach distress last night. My stomach really hurt.

So I took ages to go to sleep then I woke up with stomach pain and then I had to go to the toilet and it took ages for all that to pass. It wasn't a good night.

I cooked myself a really nice dinner last night. But I can't eat curries anymore, I used to be able to but not anymore. My stomach has become so sensitive lately.
 
Today there is a builder finishing off various jobs around the house so it can be sold. He's fitting a shower I'll never use and fixing things I can do myself but my wife wants the house on the market asap so she can leave.

She's screwing me for every penny she can get and doesn't seem to give a shit that at 50 I will never recover financially or emotionally.

This leaves me feeling very emotional to say the least. It's a really shitty day.

If the martians do invade they can take me first
 
I have done my usual thing of 'things not going well, bury head in sand and avoid the Forum.':bag:

I'm feeling sick, distressed and deeply hurt. The arguing and shouting by my husband and son's is causing me great stress, nightmares and lots of tears. :cry:

I may end up moving out if things don't improve. They are selfish and ignorant and I feel like they have taken my heart and wrung it out.

I have nothing left to give and my tears just won't stop. I am going to my sisters now so I will be out when they finally get their asses out of bed.

I love them so much but I am heartbroken.:cry:

I remember Mary in the bible being told that 'a sword of sorrow will pierce your heart.' That was about Jesus' death but I think all parents feel this sometimes. They are good lads they just do not understand or care about mine and their dads feelings.
 
I am feeling somewhat numb and unsure.

I may end up moving out if things don't improve

That may be what it takes for them to see what they are doing. However, it is your house and they should be the ones to move out. It really isn't fair to your husband or yourself. I wish you peace.

She's screwing me for every penny she can get

Please make sure that you have a good lawyer. I hate when people are like this. My ex sister in law did and continues to do the same thing to my brother even 4 years later. Granted he left her with five children that were, all under the age of six. Still bitterness is a horrible thing. Good luck!

does that make sense

Yes, this makes perfect sense to me. I am always like this. Even though I know I will end up having a good time, and everything will turn out okay, I can work myself into a tizzy leading up to the moment I actually see them. Of course that can have an adverse effect on my illness, knocking me out, so I miss the gathering. So, no, you are not alone.
 

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