Spiderallis, it's amazing how many people think the way your parents do. I was recently on a forum where the members were chainsaw people who loved to shred newbies apart, and point out all their little mistakes to basically shame them into improving. There is a more enlightened way to operate I think. You can point things out to people, and let them improve on their own, and that is just as effective...without all the damage.
At the moment I am feeling a little backed up, I must have bottled some emotional stuff, because I've been binging a bit this week on weed and last night alcohol with my work mates. I've realized I really want to belong, but I'm not sure it's with them exactly...just to belong.
I feel seedy in the stomach from all the alcohol, and not wanting to go to work this morning. A bit sore from cystitis. Unsure how I feel about the guy I've hooked up with and some factors there. I'm a bit worried that I am now being perceived by people I think are friends as being 'dodgy' for having more than one name, but mostly just feeling a bit seedy.
I'm confused about the whole name thing. I like my given name and want to just be called philippa again...it feels too weird and confusing having two names...as much as it did help for a while. I'm not about to change it by deed poll, so what is the point? I feel stupid for even doing it in the first place.
