What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[ms spock]

Unsure how I ended up in this place? Overwhelmed and like I need to scream. Feeling hurt.

I think you need to value yourself more Philippa. You give too much out too easily and people take advantage of you. I would like to see you practice more self compassion and self preservation. You need to build up a stronger support network so you don't get your emotional needs met from people who have a vested interest in getting stuff out from you.

You are precious and worthwhile. You need to accept this - or at lease be willing to start to cultivate an attitude of self compassion towards yourself.

Sooth yourself today Philippa. Be kind to you. Write stuff down.

I am still learning mindfulness and perhaps it could be of assistance to you today, even for 1 minute or 5 minutes or more if you can manage it.

 

[greenleaf]

@Ms Spock - that's what I was trying to get across. :)

 

[ms spock]

Go @franciemarnie! Great stuff with the exercise.

 

[ms spock]

Feeling a bit better today. Handled a very hurtful situation quite well. I regulated my emotions. I didn't lash out in pain. I didn't over react. I don't know if I under reacted but I think I didn't under react but with time will tell. I did think it through and make decisions.

 

[ms spock]

I feel like I don't deserve the good things.

I relate to your distorted PTSD/Complex Trauma feeling/thinking.

 

[ms spock]

@Ms Spock - that's what I was trying to get across. :)

You did indeed communicate well. And I was trying to put across that I don't see you in that manner but do see myself in that manner. I was trying to point out you are not alone in that type of distorted thinking. ;)

 

[Philippa]

I think you need to value yourself more Philippa.

Possibly.

You give too much out too easily and people take advantage of you.

Sometimes I do, to the wrong people. Sometimes I choose wisely and have received much in the way of emotional support...without them expecting anything in return. I have a therapist, supportive friends online and this place. What further suggestions for a stronger support system can you offer Ms Spock?

I would like to see you practice more self compassion and self preservation.

Yes, working on that one. I feel like I have made some breakthroughs in this area recently.

You need to build up a stronger support network so you don't get your emotional needs met from people who have a vested interest in getting stuff out from you.

Where in my post did I mention I was giving too much away to people who were trying to get stuff from me though? I spoke about one male friend who had been nothing but supportive to me, who I have known for a couple of years now...and my feeling low last night caused me to slump into self-doubt and second guessing myself that I maybe shared too much with him...but if I recall his responses to me, they have been nothing but helpful, and he didn't expect anything in return.

You are precious and worthwhile. You need to accept this - or at lease be willing to start to cultivate an attitude of self compassion towards yourself.

Yes, I am and have been getting more in contact with this part of myself again.

Sooth yourself today Philippa. Be kind to you. Write stuff down.

Thanks for the tips Ms Spock. I intend to.

I am still learning mindfulness and perhaps it could be of assistance to you today, even for 1 minute or 5 minutes or more if you can manage it.

Thankyou, I will let you know...:)[/quote]

 

[fly away home]

I'm feeling anxious but this is just the undercurrent which resides within. I'm feeling the loss of connection very deeply. I have lost a lot in the past few weeks and it has shocked me how much I want to cling. How desperate I am. I'm feeling pretty ashamed of that actually. I don't like being desperate and clingy. I'm feeling sad still.

 

[ms spock]

@fly away home such a loss is huge and you could be kind and compassionate towards. A death of such a good friend is terribly hard to bare.

You are not only person with PTSD who feels desperate at times. I certainly am hoping to work on that within myself. I am also clingy as well, at times. I don't think you will find yourself to be alone in this situation.

Feeling sad at the losses, in your current life, is reasonable in my book. Expecting yourself to get over so many changes in your life in the last few weeks is unreasonable, in my book. It shows a distinct lack of self compassion. (winks cheekily, private joke)

 

[ms spock]

Doing okay today and tonight.

 

[ms spock]

Starting to realize that experiences where I have categorized as 'just having sex' with certain males was actually me being manipulated into sex I didn't want to have...which is non-consensual sex that I felt unable to say no to at the time!

Having suicidal thoughts, feeling worthless and used... but also I've had so many other scary experiences as a result of being on my own, vulnerable and without many friends...or any real friends.

Sometimes I do, to the wrong people. Sometimes I choose wisely and have received much in the way of emotional support...without them expecting anything in return. I have a therapist, supportive friends online and this place. What further suggestions for a stronger support system can you offer Ms Spock?

I was thinking of you getting some support from real life or online people rather than men who are trying to manipulate you for sex.

Where in my post did I mention I was giving too much away to people who were trying to get stuff from me though?

I thought when you talked about males manipulating you into sex you didn't really want to have that was giving away too much away Philippa, but perhaps I misunderstood your comment.

 

[fly away home]

Thanks Ms spock. I get it.