What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[greenleaf]

Still having a lot of fear. Part of the time I don't feel the fear, but my stomach muscles are tight. I can't tell what the fear is really about; I don't think I'm acting afraid though, and feel like I'm only partly in the room here...

 

[desiderata310]

quiet tonight. Something is stirring but I'm not sure what and I'm not up to paying a great deal of attention.

 

[Sandstone]

Until a minute ago I was just mildly panicky because I have to take my mother out for Mothers Day. Then a particular track from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat came on the wireless and I can see one of my abusers performing it. He used his status as an actor to groom several teenage girls that I know of.

I want to stop breathing.


Why is it always at a time when I have to brush it under the carpet and carry on?

 

[Britt.f7]

I am trying to think and feel positive. Yesterday I gave in to everything and slept. Today I want to be awake. I don't feel as down as I did yesterday. I will keep pushing ahead.

 

[Can79]

I'm feeling tired, hopeless and stuck today. Hopefully tomorrow I will start to feel more positive and motivated again.

 

[roaminggnome]

I am feeling better after a long nap. Everything always seems better after a nap. I am still scared about my therapy session tomorrow though. I wrote my therapist a letter and emailed it to her at her request. I don't know what her reaction will be. I'm scared to talk about the childhood abuse. It is already at the surface though.

 

[StarChild]

I feel deep fear, but don't know what caused it. But right now my entire body's that clenched, that I don't even dare to lay down. Because I fear, something might happen. Just sitting in my bed shaking and rocking to and fro. Every kind of noise gets me startled, and I'm experiencing sensory overload. Feel very, very tensed.

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

Feel better today after a long sleep, think my body finally decided to over ride the insomnia and I didn't wake up until 9.40 (hour on the clock technically made it 10.40) but still miles better than no sleep at all.

Still tired, but coping better with it.

 

[ninja]

I am deeply missing my best friend – she lives far away. I'm feeling vulnerable and lonely. Inept.

I've been doing a lot of new and healthy things lately which have been very good for me. However, they do not yet have that feeling of familiarity and comfort attached to them. I want to surround myself with people and things that comfort me. Actually, maybe I will do that! :)

 

[ms spock]

Massively anxious, feeling so anxious. Battling suicidal ideation.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Feeling so much better today. I slept with my husbands shirt and hugged it to me all night and I slept good. Today has been a good day. I had a heart to heart with my daughter and I am not involved in her decision to deal with the ghosts.

It is what it is. I am going to set boundries and limits on the situation. I really do not want to hear about it even.

I have more healing and recovery work to do on these past memories. I am going with my gut instincts. To me this is a very bad idea what my daughter has chosen.

All I can do is be a moving target because they are harder to hit.

 

[franciemarnie]

Ugh. What a day. Feel exhausted.

Big triggers twice. One minor explosion.

Need more situational awareness so I don't blow. Usually I am gentle. If I feel anger, I recognize it and hit the punching bag.

Today, exhausted, I wasn't in touch. Triggered badly. I didn't hurt me or anyone, but I shouted.

So tired of juggling dual awareness - what's happening in real time and the very different body reality happening related to whatever the hell my survival brain is interpreting
incorrectly.

If I can get solid sleep, I will feel pretty okay again. But right now, I feel discouraged and wondering why the world was made the way it was.

It is a mystery.