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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Apprehensive. Anxious. Mentally vacated. Angry. Terrified. Today is the day I must wake her or it seems all hope will be lost. I cannot lose this woman, this woman who always gave me hope and held a light for me through the darkness. I blame the doctors because I must have someone to blame. I hate them for what is happening to her. I must hide this anger and come back from my mental vacation and be her light through this tunnel. I pray that she does not mistake God's light for mine.
 
I feel pissed off, so freakin hurting, scared, angry, hopeless and helpless, I may as well just long to be, or go get myself murdered so it can happen all at once and be f'n final.
 
I feel confused and in bad shape. A bit sad and hurting. Most of it because I wonder if not my most loved and wonderful rellation I ever have had with anyone is slowly going to a end. I hope not and wish not to but there is some tings indicating it. I will fight harder than I do...but most of the issues I cant do annything about.
 
I feel thankful for new friends, anxious for the day and therapy tonight, successful for completing some of my T given "homework," and unsettled on my emotional roller coaster.
 
I have a angry-mood day. Almost picked two fights in one day...wonder whats happening. Just hope the latest objects have left the laundry room till I have to go there again...that is right now by the way.
 
I feel very sad today...I just found out that my father is dying. They have given him 6 months to 3 weeks to live. Hospice has taken over. My dad is now on morphine so that makes me think the time is close. Thankfully, I have already made my peace with him. My sister on the other hand has not made her peace yet and I worry about her. My younger brother does not know yet and I have to tell my daughter when she gets home today.
 

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