What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Incendiu]

Upset, angry and sad. My bf have his 25th birthday next week and I had secret plans for just him and me. Today his old friends without even telling me something or ask if I had something planned made plans with him at the day I had things fixed to. So I have to change my plans as everyone have been told this but me. I was the last one they asked if I had something planned. They took for granted that I had nothing planned for my boyfriend I have been together with for 5 ½ year on such a special day. So even if they have been planning this over a month and talked with my bf about it and his brothers and family and every one else.. they did not once mentioned it to me before today. I just hope I can make this any way...just hurt my feelings and my stress levels are reaching the skies... what if I can't change the thing's I have planned. :(

 

[Oberons Wife]

Bewildered
sad
angry
hurt
but mostly bewildered, all these people going about their lives, and I just don't 'get it',
I'm lost, flailing around with nothing to anchor myself too,
scared
I want to stop being
Don't be

 

[Marie E.]

*Hugs* for anyone who needs them!

 

[Loloma]

Same for you ((((MarieE)))) and all those sad, angry, hurt, bewildered people alone or feeling alone on a Saturday night. Really sucks.

 

[Oberons Wife]

Hey Marie! Dating a cop :) I thought it funny recently when I found myself dating a mental health nurse, haha. Enjoy yourselves, hope it all goes well for you, x.

 

[Marie E.]

What is with these men who go to jail!!! I get more than 25 collect calls from the last guy I was with. Now I got a message saying I am to be a charitable witness for him on Tues of next week, when at first I was just going to go just cause of my support for him. (Somebody was turned him in for so-called threats)

I now want to avoid this guy like the plague cause now I am dating a cop.

I am still waiting to get looks from cops who know my sweet heart officer lmao!!

To make it hopefully, less confusing : Combat PTSD 1 - As*hole ex fiance, Combat PTSD 2 some roommate I had brought in by num 1. (I do not hold a grudge to any Combat PTSD as I am only going by my experience, no worries!) Num 3 my hunk of an officer.

 

[Sazza]

I am majorly avoiding at the moment, in some kind of mixed state. My mood remains low but at same time i can't stop need keep moving can't be alone with my thoughts even though not sure what they are at moment. Definitely going through some kind of agitated mixed state depression at the moment, going end up burning out hard explain like a rollercoaster at moment minute i stop wham my mood is there to remind me not to stop.

 

[Loloma]

I am majorly avoiding at the moment, in some kind of mixed state.

Hang in there and ride it out, try and rest or sleep it helps a lot. ((((Hugs))))

 

[Saphy]

:cry: I have so many different feeling attacking me right now I don't know what I'm feeling...the past has come up and bit me..

Wow I think we must have felt the exact same thing within such a short span. (:

I really was... so broken last night. I have no idea but I just remember cursing up at God when sometime in the night I couldn't cry. i couldn't get anymore tears out. And I looked up and said...

You're evil if you've reduced her to nothing and didn't even leave her with any tears.
How can you make me run out of tears?

It was... so difficult last night. I don't have bipolar, but I do have a protective shell that protects the real me. And I felt I didn't have anyone to defend me... but at the same time during dissociation, I felt like I was watching myself scrunched up in bed trying to hide and find some sort of warmth... from somewhere... anywhere.

It's prolly one of my worst nights in 6 years.

 

[Saphy]

Saphy...hang in there..fight. Some part of you know your not ugly and want to fight.. I'll think about you, and lit a candle.

Thanks so much. Really.

 

[Sandra]

Disappointed with a net friend. He showed himself to be a hypocrite last night.

 

[Saphy]

Disappointed with a net friend.

Yeah... I can understand that. Someone randomly who didn't even know me came into a video chat and said I was ugly randomly. I don't really know them. Everyone else said I wasn't... but to be completely honest, it's just that one negativity that can break you. Ugh what a miserable night...

As a background: I don't think I'm ugly but I don't think I was ever exceptionally pretty and the trauma from the PTSD emotionally and physically scarred me. Although the physical scars have healed, the emotional ones haven't and whenever I look at myself I still always see a compilation of those physical scars still on my body. It's terrible for self-confidence, really.