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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I'm ANGRY..

And I'm feeling broken and tired and
dissapointed
My heart is crying for my friend...
And for my Beloved.

I wish I had a time-out button.

I am so so tired. I wish I was stronger.
I honestly don't know how much longer I can maintain this facade.
How many tears can the eyes produce?
How long can I hide them from the real world?
I feel ..... finished
 
Feel like my whole outlook on life, how I behave, how I look at things, my understanding of things and my natural instincts and so much that makes up me, has been tainted so much by my childhood.

Feel like I need to let go of being me altogether by expelling all those bad behaviours I learnt as a child to protect me from what was going on.

But if I let go of that I feel like like I am free falling with no parachute and I am completely lost. I am not me anymore. I don't know how to do that. Feels like I will just crash into the ground
 
((((((((((Lizio)))))))))You are in there, you are, it's just static gets in the way.

I managed to get the Girls out for another walk this morning, we are all waaaay out of our "fighting weight" but we did it. It was unusually warm and quiet, peaceful. I ignored the pain and focused on the magic of the moments I have had during these walks...when times are the toughest these are my burning bushes :)
 
Got out of bed this morning, fed the cat and went back to bed. Got up again made coffee, slept on the couch for a while. Feel a lot better now, a bit sluggish. Pain killers help heaps. Now after 1pm and finally fully awake.

Very disheartened with the doctor, seems to think that just because my my urine doesn't show a UTI, that all is fine. Instead of doing a blood test to check my kidney function. For heavens sake, why do they keep trying to save a buck at the expense of my health. He wants me to wait until next week before he does it. Does my R-U-Albumin reading have to be back to round 900 before they do anything. Take me back to Australia.
 
(((((((Loloma)))))))

I saw my Pdoc yesterday and was finally prescribed enough medicine that I can sleep through the insomnia and not have to white knuckle through the panic attacks any longer. This makes me feel very happy as the same medication is going to be used for both problems, and I will not have to add another medication.:D
 

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