What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[KP the nut]

(((bubba))), (((solo))), ((((everyone))).

I am feeling tired but very content. Today has been a good day. I have achieved everything I aimed to do. I was in a lot of pain so I took painkillers and went to bed for an hour to rest and didn't feel guilty about it.

I'm feeling very tired and will go to bed soon.

Night night.​

 

[heather q]

I'm feeling worse, scared and wrong.

 

[Bubba]

(((((Heather))))) - hugs and lots of prayers!!!!!!!!

I actually feel better after going to work. Anxiety is down now that therapy is over. Work ended up being good. I can always get my boss to take my mind off myself and my issues. I came home on a high. Now looking forward to relaxing this evening and watching some television.

 

[heather q]

thanks Bubba,
I'm really wondering what's going on I've been triggered all day long, written about it, got worse, couldn't walk the dog because of yesterday, when I turned the tap on and splashed him, and now he's afraid to get water from his new bowl. I forgot about his fear of water. I can't walk him, because he's ancy, and I'm ancy. If it aint one of us, it's both of us.

Nothing is really wrong, I just can't cope with the little stuff.

 

[nie]

I feel angry and fearful.

 

[CraftyCath]

((((((Heather q)))))) ((((((Nie))))))

I feel fine, quite good really.:D :tup: Although I do feel trapped in the house and have a yearning to go and do something, like go to the sea side. It's the Queens Jubilee weekend but my H has volunteered to work so it looks like I'm grounded. :rolleyes:

 

[AngelaMarie]

I finally realize how much bio-mom HATES me. How does anyone hate their own child?:cry::cry::cry:

 

[Ice_Fire]

((((((((Angela))))))))

She's a toxic person. I know how much this hurts and I've asked myself why my mum hates me so often. But as my T said, it's nothing to do with you or me and everything to do with them. Their attitude, their problem. It wouldn't matter if we were superstars, criminals or the ordinary people we are, the reaction would be the same. :( Incredibly difficult to come to terms with I know, I'm not there yet either :cry:

I'm so sorry she's still hurting you so much. I'm very glad the relationship with your daughter is so good. Cherish it, it proves that you're lovely and it's not you but your mums problem. Take care.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

AngelaMarie, My mom hated me too. I dealt with that one in emdr yesterday and I finally feel free of her. The bonds have been severed to her. I am accepting this in my heart where it can do some good. I know my mom is dead but she has had her hooks in me for so many years.

Your bio-mom is toxic, and you will have to figure out how much contact with her you can allow now. I hate to see what she does to you. It is not your fault. It does not matter how kind, rational, and decent you treat her, she does not get it. She is not caring about how her words are affecting you. You could hang up on her the next time she does that to you. I think it is time to set some boundries with her if that is possible. I wish you the best in whatever you decide. Hugs.

I am feeling ok today. I am enough to the tasks of today. I am excited about getting the girls for the weekend and taking them swimming. They will love it. They have been looking forward to this all winter. Now it is here. I will ask their mom if they can come over during the week. That would be fun.

 

[heather q]

View attachment 19357 How does anyone hate their own child?

'What You Think of Me is None of My Business' is very relevant, it's the title of a book, it helps me to understand, and see that how mum 'acted at me' had everything to do with her and gran, and that it had nothing to do with me. She had no boundaries, she was 'everywhere'.

One day I tested the statement, a guy tried to tell me some gossip about me, I said 'what they think about me only tells me about them, not about me, I don't need to know about them, I already know.' Eventually he gave up.

Part of me wanted to know what they were saying but I expected it would be bad and I knew I'd take it on. I don't know if it was bad though. What anybody thinks about us is what they think, either way, it's not our business. What I think about me is all that matters and I'm working on that.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Good for you Heather, this is one I struggle with. I am doing better. But it sure has messed up my life for years.

 

[heather q]

Thanks, and good for you too, gizmo, it is the the basis 'of' and 'for' the: IIC-CP the gone haywire 'Infernal, Internal, Critic & Critical Parent' that I struggle with, and have been listening to for all these years, unwittingly believing and acting as though it, the IIC-CP was telling truth about me, when it wasn't and never was, it's effect is screwing me up daily.

What a waste of energy, I wonder how 'gone' it can go, and what it would be like to be free of it all. The more I learn, the heavier, more extensive I realize that it is, it must level off at some point, I think it will and I hope it does. There is hope!