What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Philippa]

Had a rough night. I felt into my pain, which I'd been avoiding doing via using the internet compulsively. It was so hard, and hurt so much. I felt into my abandonment wounds and lay there with it. It was hard...but I persevered. I had the sense that my family were finally starting to look at themselves because of my withdrawal...but that might be delusion? It probably is.:( Wishful thinking.

I felt better this morning. Feeling a bit like I don't know what else to do with myself today, even though I could paint and do something fun...I somehow keep stopping myself from doing it, and have been on the internet for about 4 hours now.

I've been going round in circles like this for years. Not knowing what to do with myself. I want to be more motivated and focused. I have projects...why aren't I doing them?

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

BlackbirdRising, I hope you feel better soon. :)

Thank you Ayasha :). Congratulations on the new computer :D!

 

[goingonhope]

I felt different things today. I don't remember really, outside of the frustration and alienation I felt.

Now I remember more. I also felt hurt, sadness, betrayal and felt deep grief, ...(alongside some smiles, some affection, a few laughs and too much work), I was emotionally withdrawn, partially numb, spaced-out and inwardly I feel unhappy. Though I did feel some thankfulness.

 

[KatB]

I feel trapped inside myself.

:banghead: :banghead::banghead: ---> This is my emoticon.

Unbelievably true and real. That is EXACTLY how I feel!!!! I went to an outing for my cousin's gf baby shower and I feel like if I was dumb enough to go to an event I know I was completely uncomfortable in. I don't know if my ever going out will ever get easier or difficult over time because the more I go to outings like this, I feel COMPLETELY out of place and LOST. All tangled inside.

 

[FaerieJayne]

Tangled inside. Yes. I agree. <3 Hugs for you KatB

 

[Springer80]

lost. confused. muddled. insensible. a bit pointless. ineffective

 

[ms spock]

I am having so many emotions.

I am crying a lot because of a number of circumstances.

My friend M died. I am grieving.

The way I managed my emotions as a child was with constant suicidal ideation and this has been prominent lately at times. A lot has come up about my family and childhood. I am trying to come to terms with my complex developmental trauma. I have been crying and grieving about what I endured and missed out on.

I had a psychologist who moved in with me, one that I got in a relationship, one that was most inappropriate, one that was abusive. I also had treatment from inappropriate psychologists that didn't have the trauma skills or were total unprofessionals. With the traumatic and ongoing developmental experiences I endured as a child I really never had a chance as a child and in some instances, with the vulnerabilities that gave me, as an adult. But I can see that a little better now, which is good.

 

[sorcha]

Strange. I don't like Sundays, my locum doctor messed up my tablets as they do a lot, so I continue taking what pills I am supposed to, beg them for help during the week, they ignore me so I always, feel strange on a Sunday....I can cope with it, I always do, my head is confused, I need to try cry but I cannot cry, I'm sad but cannot pinpoint a reason, so that leads me back to feeling strange and confused and counting until night time when everyone goes to sleep and soon it will 9.00am on Monday and I will have my medication again....and blasted Doctors on Wednesday when I can thank this man for messing with my head weekly and shout at him and scream 'I'm depressed here' quit it with the stopping/starting my pills you silly man.....oops sorry bit of story there...

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Scared, hopeless, depression.

I feel like I need help. Don't know where to turn. Don't want to be a bother. Don't want to be the one in need but want to be the one to give. Don't have anything to give right now. Feel very lost and alone in my head.

 

[CraftyCath]

((((((((((PH))))))))) You can't give what you don't have, please don't beat yourself up. We all have times when we need help and times when we are strong enough to give it. x

I'm OK today. I enjoyed the forum party and have been working on some art today so I'm happy.

 

[Traumagirl]

((((((((((((((Potttershand))))))))))))))

I feel gross this morning. I'm so tired and miserable. I hope the day gets better.

((((((((((((((((((HUGS to everyone)))))))))))))))))))

 

[Britt.f7]

The way I managed my emotions as a child was with constant suicidal ideation and this has been prominent lately at times.

That is how my head thinks. My psychiatrist, earlier this year, said that that is my natural thought pattern and we need to rewire it. Still working on it. I think about it at least once a day. I hate that my brain goes that way. Too bad there isn't a switch to turn it off. Would make life much easier.

I had a psychiatrist I absolutely adored and trusted. Unfortunately, he was caught taking advantage of one of his other patients and was fired as well as jailed. I'm glad he admitted to it and that it was wrong of him. I know what he did was very wrong, but I still miss having him as my psych. I'm sorry that your psychiatrist took advantage of you, even if he wasn't abusive, it was a total abuse of power and he should have known better. Very betraying.

I hope you feel better soon. Grief is such a difficult thing. I know, I'm still grieving for the death of my mom.