What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Britt.f7]

Today, for a short time this afternoon I was actually silly, goofy. I felt very lighthearted. It was a nice feeling while it lasted. I hope it peaks out again tomorrow.

 

[GreenFrog2]

It doesn't sound like you stopped loving your brothers. I hope you do try to get in touch with them

I never did stop loving them. I quite simply could not cope with the verbal abuse and the only way that I had to protect myself was to walk away.

I have just sent my younger brother a card for his wedding, and my older brother a message on face book. Guess I will know soon enough what their position is! If they want to communicate with me we sure will have alot of catching up to do - am already thinking of ways to summarize what has happened to me as I don't want to start with a big misery dump!

 

[GreenFrog2]

you need to be clear about not getting drawn in to be the scapegoat if something went wrong surrounding your brother's weddings.

Thanks Ms Spock,

My brothers may not be able to interact with my approach to them - at least no straight away - and I am OK with that. I have no intention of getting drawn into being a scapegoat - which I am sure my father would try!

I would not even accept an invitation to the wedding (should I get one) - that would be so disruptive and so rude. It is a weekend for my brother and his fiance, and no way would I want to impose a dysfunctional family reunion on them.

Am still pondering boundaries etc.... they are all in Victoria so there is some space there and 'room to move' for all of us to use as needed.

I was so sad and shamed last night and this morning, but now I am feeling as though this might end up being an OK kind of thing to be doing.

 

[GreenFrog2]

Relieved that I can feel that my meditation and positive affirmation work appears to have been doing me some good. Several times today I felt myself start to get really anxious, but just reminding myself to nose breathe and to think of 1 positive thing, I have been able to self-soothe really well.

I am glad that this has occurred as the process of doing these things has been hard - so I am glad that the hard work, effort and stress has bee worth it!

 

[Tanishq]

Ironing done. Relaxed for that. Otherwise I would have been back to laziness. Most good feeling, I don't feel that tired after doing iron to cloths. :happy:

 

[Abstract]

Was feeling numb but now am feeling a bit emotionally bruised. I had a neighbour yell abuse at me about my husband for 20 mins this morning. Including wishes that he be hit by a car and die and that she would be happy.

 

[cat]

Feeling much more positive today, no good letting this thing beat me again..... onwards & upwards with more relaxation & positive thoughts..... and maybe a visit to my T!

 

[dms]

I feel very Sad deep down inside. I feel Glad that my rent check cleared my bank. I feel extreme Grief. I feel kinda angry at God. I prayed everyday that my C-PTSD friend (who by the way was becoming very religious) would love me, but he completely shut me out of his life anyway. I guess God heard me and gave me a answer hunh? More pain for me!! I have no interested in ever dating again.

 

[Traumagirl]

Today I feel sad, very sad. I know this feeling is attached to a childhood memory, but the memory hasn't come to mind yet.

((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs to all)))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Tanishq]

I prayed everyday that my C-PTSD friend (who by the way was becoming very religious) would love me, but he completely shut me out of his life anyway.

I am sorry that you are going through rough time.

Perhaps he needs some love in his life. Receiving love is kind of blessing, your thoughts on this?

Hope your sadness passes soon.

 

[Springer80]

I feel a little soft today, a bit emotional. I realized that (me and my specialist agree) that my ptsd if no longer acute, I have a depersonalization disorder and the reason I'm off work with 'chronic fatigue' (I give up trying to inform the medical professionals I see) is because my DP disorder is preventing me from articulating my emotions. I have to feel my emotions like visual images and describe them externally from me. My latest one was a wound length of sting around my heart and I'm pulling the bottom thread outwards to unwind it. Then I noticed that the top is around my tonsils/vocal chords. Anyway, I suppose I'm saying I won' be over he 'chronic fatigue' until I can master he emotional/visual thing. It feels like a type of sign language and I like thinking of it like that. I can teach myself then maybe someone else special.

I feel tender but good and more calm.

 

[Spiderallis]

I'm a bit embarrassed and guilty that it's been so long since I've posted... seems like folks around here will understand the spaced out numb thing, trying to shake myself out of it. It's 7 am and I've given up on sleep, time for coffee.