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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

Today, I am feeling utterly defeated & numb. My cousin's new fiance (who has only been with a month) is in the hospital because of her PTSD. My family is being very supportive of her, helping her, etc.

They never believed me.
They never supported me.

Why was/am I not worthy? Why is she?
 
I felt miserable and was hurting so much today, grieving and sorrowful earlier in the day. I cried at work and felt relief, and much better now. I feel safe and warm at home, ready for bed, looking forward to tomorrow (can't remember the last time I caught myself feeling that way?) I feel sleepy and fading fast.
 
I'm in one of those dissatisfied with life moods, where nothing seems to be rewarding, yet I know I have some things to be happy for. I have a new friend, I just got a phone card in the mail from my sister (who I just finished talking to on the phone). I guess it may be because when I took a nap this afternoon, I had a nightmare (daymare?). I dreamed that my husband had just died (he died actually in 2005) and I was having to deal with the initial shock and grief of it all over again (and had to deal with telling folks who didn't know yet and all that). In a way it was like reliving his death all over again. And the memories linger, the dream ones and the real ones... and it is so disheartening!
 
So pleased that I am feeling better every day. I would not like to repeat the last two weeks again. Being ill sapped all my energy and strength, had me in a bad mood and gave me constant headaches.

Every day is an improvement, probably need another week and a repeat of the antibiotics. Have to try and mow the lawn this weekend and get some gardening done. The place looks rather disgusting and run down outside.

:hug:'s to all that need them.
 
I feel so alone on this forum at the moment but I think it is my own fault. People did private message me and I responded by asking about them and not talking about myself. I find it hard to have my needs met and I am blocking people.

I find it hard to be around people. I find it hard to identify my needs or have my needs met in any way. It is so confronting.
 
I feel so alone on this forum at the moment but I think it is my own fault.

You're not alone. And just so you know I'm always encouraged when I see that you've been up and active and out and about even when you've posted that it hasn't been an easy day. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you.

I feel ok right now. I think. In this moment I don't feel overwhelmed. I'm grateful for that. Although now that I've said that I feel like I have to laugh at myself because that makes me feel like I need to "scan my environment" so to speak.
 
I'm being courageous though I am scared and depressed as all. I don't know how to do more then I am and any less would be hugely problematic. Overwhelmed, enslaved, stressed and sad. Today however, I postponed acknowledging and feeling those feelings for which I could.

Also, this morning I was pleased and proud of myself after successfully making it through my MRI.

O' ya, ...worn out and exhausted!
 
I feel annoyed that it takes me so long to identify what I feel. Proud that I know I need to work on feeling ID. Sad that I am still dealing with trauma. Defensive that I have gotten no feedback on my post.
 
I'm feeling like an old, worn out, biotch.
And I couldn't be happier about it!
priestly1.webp
 

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