What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Let It Be]

Couldn't believe how overwhelmed I felt from yesterday.

It probably had to do with the fact that I was going to the dentist and to the doctor's office and didn't know what to expect. It was one of those very stressful days and I sure did react to it.

I arrived on time for my dentist appointment and then had to wait 45 minutes to be seen, and it just kept going on like that all day!

 

[ms spock]

I have felt up and down today. A guy took the equipment, in the middle of me using it and the others told me not to be so nice and to be more "bitchy!"

 

[franciemarnie]

I was pretty calm today. No body pain except healing dupa muscle. Weird thing with me feeling basically calm, I had the startle effect something fierce tonight. Looking forward to brief vacation in wilds of Wisconsin Monday.

 

[ms spock]

I am determined to focus on the gradual improvements and incremental changes. I can improve. I have improved a lot this week in regards to last week and the preceding months. I am making slow progress and I want to be content and happy with that. I have a lot to be grateful for and I would like to keep that in mind more rather than the negativity that, at times, takes over. I am feeling okay about myself right now and pleased with my gradual improvements and incremental changes.

 

[Philippa]

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit more positive about things Ms Spock.

I pushed myself to attend a sculpture gallery exhibition, and apart from getting rapidly sick from sunstroke, and having to bail to go for some soup and hot tea next door, just to get some strength back, it was good to be there.

I went on an adventure today to the beach, and felt so excited to be experiencing what felt like the kind of luxury you see in magazines where models are lying about next to crystal clear pools, sipping cocktails and getting sun, not a care in the world. I got a bit too much sun though, so it all quickly turned to feeling weak in my body, sore throat and almost viral. I'm home now, but I am exhausted from the day. An hour on a motorbike to get to the beach, and an hour back really took it out of me, as well as the sunstroke. I burn so easily.

I feel a bit daft for not protecting myself more. I feel like I did not honor myself by pushing myself to go out when I really felt like staying in. I"m trying to be more social these days, and it's not easy at times. I don't often feel that comfortable around most people, but what's the point in leaving the country for a holiday, and then staying in your room the whole time? Pointless.

I've got hayfever, sunstroke, recovering twisted ankle, dead cat...anything else you'd like to throw at me Life?

 

[Islandtyger]

I am feeling scared, as always. I am realizing how long I have been sick with PTSD. After the hurricane and leaving my abusive ex-husband, I forgot how old I was. I celebrated a birthday two years' early and no one noticed. I cannot remember what year things happened. Not even what year I had bilateral mastectomies. Now I feel faint.

Had to take a break and re-group. This is is hard. Harder than I thought.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I don't know what's going on with me. I'm a complete and total mess today. I woke up so unbelievably and so incredibly exhausted. Apparently under that there was a LOT of anxiety and hypervigilance. More than I could detect. I could tell I needed to distract myself so I got dressed and was going to go to the mall.

Instead someone did something that triggered me into a full blown shaking pacing isolating anxiety attack. I lost my urge to go out. I lost my appetite. I felt sick. I'm stuck in my bedroom because I'm still isolating. And when I do leave my room I'm biting everyone's heads off. Everything everyone in the house is saying to me is making me SO angry. I can't believe how reactive I'm being today. So how do I feel today? Like hell. Trapped in the most confusing anguish filled prison cell that I can't seem to get away from no matter how much I scratch and claw and try to dig myself out of. Ya I feel like I'm trapped in hell.

 

[Alienated]

Hopeless
unwanted
unneeded
useless
weak
hated

 

[franciemarnie]

Disgusted with impossible indigestion. It calls the shots for the day. Still I am looking forward to going out of town Monday.

 

[ms spock]

I feel a bit weary. I didn't have a good night's sleep. Nightmares, waking every ten minutes or so, panic attacks, gagging and coughing and not being able to breathe. Work up with intrusive thoughts running in my head. SI made a comeback. Did the body scan mediation twice as the first time I just spaced out - did a little bit better the next time. It must be the pattern fighting back after everything I wrote last night and have done this last week.

I rang Lifeline and just talked to this guy. I was able to settle down.

I am also feel sick as well, which is not helpful.

 

[Abstract]

Support or hugs to anyone that needs them.

((((Ms Spock, Blackbird)))

Had a sudden rush of bad suicidal ideation last night and some intense cravings for unhealthy means of coping. I managed to avoid. Angry and can't seem to get rid of it. Its just sitting on me all the time.

Happy for the cooler weather.

 

[Britt.f7]

Slept almost 12 hours and kept wanting to crawl back into bed once I emerged from it. Tried to do other things to occupy my time in hopes that those feelings would pass.