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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

(((Ms Spock))) Sending calming thoughts.

I am feeling overstimulated and stressed. I came back today from 3 days in the hospital for a check up on my lungs. The doctor says I have to go back ever 6-8 weeks for a bronchskopie...! Just letting that sink in I guess. There must be another way around this.

I went to fitness today... actually it was dance class. But the trainers let this freaky guy watch us, and he stayed the whole time and triggered me so much I had to tell them to get him out. Was feeling pressured and didnt know if my reaction was normal, but the intern said she also would not have felt comfortable. I guess I handled it well though, didnt let myself fall into emotional hysteria as I saw myself quickly slipping into. I am hoping my energy level stays high and I trying not to let it get to me that I have a chronic lung condition.
 
Today was a pretty good day emotion wise. I only had one sinking feeling and it quickly evaporated. I went out today and things that would have normally put me in a down mood(like not having money) didn't get to me. Nor did arriving to pick up a package that I received an email telling me it was ready, and it was not there. Handled it all well.

I'm a good customer. I don't freak out on the people who are not in control. Years of having that type of job has made me either the best customer or the worst depending on how I'm handled. These people today handled this mishap well. I just looked at it as something that got me out of the house. Oh well.
 
Feel like starting over. Like re-doing everything, so that I could live a more normal life.

I also keep feeling so guilty that I'm not the happy, empathetic, bubbly person I used to be for my family. Now I cry when the wrong thing is said, get defensive over silly things and barely ask how everyone else is doing. I feel so horrible.
 
I'm feeling frustrated with my body. Hubby and I are going to visit his brother. I'm really looking forward to it. Then last night the arthritis in my jaw kicked in and my jaw has locked. I can get my front teeth together but can't close my mouth on the molars which means I can't chew.

It was easier this morning but when I took my mouth guard out, within minutes it had locked up again. I keep trying to wear my mouth guard, but it makes me gag. I've taken anti inflamatary meds and drinking hot drinks to try and ease it. Until then I guess I'm on the soft food diet. Damn, and we are all going out for a meal tomorrow night.
 
I feel bad today. I feel angry, hurt, sad, confused, sore, fed-up and tired.

Intellectually I know I'll feel better, quite possibly because I'll switch my brain off with a nice film, but the way my insides feel seem to disagree. My emotions are screaming at me, and I desperately want to ignore them. It's confusing.

@Britt.f7 , your post about leaving the house and handling your day made me smile. Well done :tup:.

@KP the nut , I hope you feel better for your meal tomorrow.
 
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I feel extremely irritated that I didn't sleep one second last night. I feel apprehensive that this might be the case until the holidays are over - not sleeping much that is. I know I will sleep sometimes. I feel sick of the cold even though it's just December. I am tired of my mind. Although I am glad to be off meds, just this once I would like one super duper powerful tranquilizer to knock me out. I feel impatient and exhausted.
 
Oh @franciemarnie, I'm so sorry you're not sleeping! It's bitterly cold here in the Midwest, am I right? It's pissing me, off, too, because it's interrupting my daily walks outside. The wind whips right through my jacket and I can't get warm even once I'm at home under blankets! And I *LOVE* the winter and cold weather... it's just seriously cold out there right now.

I relate to the meds thing, too... I'm off all meds, but I certainly have my days when I wish I could go back on this one prescription medication I was on that seemed to turn off my hypervigiliance like a light switch and I would be so relaxed and I slept well and it was great... until I got addicted and had to come off it. Yeah, not missing it so much afterall. ;)

Hang in there, and lots of :hug: if you'd like them.

Stay warm!
D123
 
I'm really sad that I wake up from horrible nightmares every single morning, unless I don't sleep at all. It just starts the day off depressingly.

And as much as I'm hating the physical pain I'm in, I'm sickly grateful that there's a pain I can at least point to to people and complain about. (Not that I complain often!)

I'm mad that every medicine I take is a weight gaining one, when I have hardly any motivation.
 
Today did not begin well . . . awoke from sleep with a panic attack and tachycardia. Heart rate (HR) @ 192bpm. Blood pressure (BP)138/92. I haven't been taking my heart meds because it makes me sluggish, but I did this a.m.! 1.5 hours later (now) HR@93 and BP@123/87. Not a pleasant way to start the day. I'm feeling anxious/anxiety and scared about today being a very busy day at work, brain being fuzzy and generally functioning slowly. :(
 

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