What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[DMerish]

^ :p ^

Oh, I've done that lots Ms. Spock - have a good time of it too. Been satisfactorily single for 20+ years, lol. Ever since I was a little girl I always felt that I wouldn't settle down with "the one" until I was older. The last few years, the thought never crossed my mind. It's weird, but not weird. Now that my symptoms are fairly well managed (most days), it's as if my emotional center is now calling me to be in a relationship. :inlove: Ah, crap!

 

[rainy_daze]

Think it might be a case of 'big important things' mode

I love that mode, when I feel too busy to feel anything. I get a lot done. I've sort of lost the ability to do this sort of thing for long periods of time recently though. The aftermath of stopping this kind of mode, when there is something to be focussed on so emotions can be tossed aside almost, can be overwhelming too, even if it is a useful thing that happens to us so we can get through things that need to be done. The feelings can hit you hard. I hope you get through this fine Spider. I'm glad your appeal meeting went well.


I feel: Anger, guilt, sadness, a throwing myself off a bridge kind of mentality (I'm challenging this), loneliness and more guilt.

I think I made my partner feel bad this morning, and I feel terrible for a minor argument with him :cry:. Even saying sorry, the guilt is still there :sorry:. I don't know how to fix this, and that is also making me feel bad. Grrrrrrr :mad::nailbiting::meh::banghead:.

 

[ms spock]

I was highly anxious. I went out and saw a friend and her aunt. Then I saw another friend. I was so anxious I almost fell asleep. Came home and rang Life Line. The guy was nice but he suggested that I follow a TV evangelist Joyce Meyer and Dr Phil for some answers. The guy really meant well. I had a good cry. He was pretty stressed out by the sounds of things.

Then I rang another line and blabbed like a bit of an idiot. I was totally dissociated.

Anyway the pressure building up has released. It was getting really bad. I was feeling so anxious. I was spacing out big time. You know the world didn't feel real and I was so disconnected from everyone. So it brought me back. I was overwhelmed by emotion.

 

[Abstract]

It was getting really bad.

So sorry. :( I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Abstract]

I'm also anxious about asking my mother a couple of things that might shed light on my trauma history.

Oh my goodness Macca. Good luck. You are very brave. I have asked indirect questions too before. Remember that details can be wrong with a memory and still not mean that the general concept of experience wasn't real.

I am feeling very vulnerable and tired of life and trying.

 

[ms spock]

^ :p ^ Oh, I've done that lots Ms. Spock - have a good time of it too!

So you can really show yourself a good time! Great I will be able to get tips off you.

 

[DMerish]

On Halloween once, I dressed as an old lady clown. I took some Monopoly money with me, went into a bank and tried to open an account. :):D:p The people were so sweet - I'm sure they felt pity that I was loony as a bat.

What can I say? I was bored and down and needed to snap out of it :wacky:

 

[ms spock]

@Abstract I feel much better. I feel immense relief.

 

[ms spock]

@DMerish You have a wonderful sense of humour and that is to be cherished.

 

[ms spock]

Really really tired...

 

[Lionheart]

I slept for 6 straight hours which is very unusual for me. I feel rested and grateful. I am out of cigarettes but it is just as well as I don't need them and am wanting to quit anyway.

I am so grateful for this forum and the good people here who support me and I want to say thank you for being there for me.

I feel determined to make today a good day. I am happy to be alive and am feeling much more care-free than usual. I am going to enjoy it while it lasts. I am sure the amount of sleep I got has something to do with the good mood I am in, but it doesn't matter why, I am just really thankful for it!!!

Best wishes of comfort and peace for all who are struggling,
Lion

 

[macca]

Well, drove for a bit over 5 hrs today, all up, to visit my parents. Was a bit worried about taking the trip with my three teenagers, as they do sometimes fight, and I didn't need the stress. Couple of stressy bits but I held it together. I did it!! Better than I expected. Very, very tired though.

My father is recovering from an aggressive cancer, and has really gone through the mill. Visited him in hospital (he'd had to go back in before we got there), and it seemed clear to me that he is depressed. My mother's way to handle stuff like that is to pretend it's not there, so I'm going to talk to my brother who lives nearby, to keep an eye on him, and her for that matter.

@Abstract Thank you for the encouragement. I didn't end up asking much after all. They live in a tiny country town, and don't need to lock their doors, whereas I live in the city - so I asked if she'd ever lived anywhere she'd had to lock the doors. She mentioned only the city where I live (they lived there too for a time), and didn't respond at all to me asking specifically about the particular town I was trying to find out about (where we lived til I was 5). I know she heard me, and gave me a funny look, so it's probably another "I don't know why she's asking that, I'll just pretend it didn't happen" situation. I kind of lost my courage then, so didn't ask about the layout of that house. Oh well. I could possibly ask my brother, but I just don't know if I'm brave enough now. Maybe another time.