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I had a minor meltdown before excusing myself from a situation to prevent escalation. Still made progress, I tried out a different coping skill and talked to a friend by phone to calm down after that set me off. Still moving in the right direction even if it's a bumpy ride sometimes...
I feel:
Tired
Depressive
Slightly hopeful
Isolated
Worried about my future
Worried that my mother will never seek help for her problems that cause her to be abusive.
Angry with myself
Sad that no one believes I have a problem.
Relieved I am receiving proper treatment after a long line of bad psychaitrists.
Post 'T-time' tired, with a whirling blur of anger, resentments and just flat out rage that I've got no clue what to do with. I'd try to shout or violently fluff every pillow in the house but I don't want to trigger the dog. Some things really bother her and I'll never be able to know why.
I feel used to the point of being empty. I feel abandoned bound to this derelict state. I feel scared to feel scared or to feel anything at all. I feel I don't exist, I feel like I shouldn't exist.