What Bad Shit Have You Done - Daily, As it Comes To You, Your Past, Lets Be Honest

[BloomInWinter]

I introduced two friends to marijuana in college. I wish I would have kept telling them no.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I have not spoken to my mother for 20 years. I am letting her die somewhere alone. She could be dead already for all I know.

I did not visit my sister, cut her off for years even though she was mentally ill, and, despite her pleading for me to visit her, I didn't and then she died of an overdose. I did not go to her funeral, because I did not want to confront my mother and I was scared of her.

I did not go to the funeral of my father after he died because I did not want to see my mother.

I would hear my sister crying in bed when we were teenagers and I offered her no comfort. I just was annoyed with her for the way she was. I was annoyed with her, when she was starting to be sick.

When I was a teenager I was cold and uncaring about my nan in her last years of life, when I should have been spending lots of time with her, I ignored her and avoided her. I felt nothing when she died.

I felt nothing when my granddad died when I was 14.

I didn't believe my sister in law when she told me of the things my ex H had done to her as a child. I believed him and thought it was just innocent child's play and that she was exagerating and having false memories.

I watched porn movies and went into seedy sex shops and had sex in public places to please my ex H

I read the child porn that my dad had when I found it and I did not say anything about it. I didn't tell on him when he was taking me to sex shops whilst he looked at porn.

I masturbated constantly as a teenager.

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((Lizio))))

I see none of these in the 'bad' category, just survival.

I see none of these as intention to harm, which I guess is about all I truly believe deserves 'bad' as a label.

Being 'cold and uncaring' is just the state of being a child survivor who has shut down all feelings to survive. That doesn't make any of us bad.

...and what teenager doesn't masturbate their way through loneliness, stress, or just because it feels good and it doesn't cost anything?

 

[CaringMomma]

I had sex with a guy that was 21 when I was only 15.

I stole brandy from my mom's stash and tried to cover it up by adding water to it.

I screwed any guy that smiled at me.

Drove drunk all the time and didn't get caught till I was 22.

Burned myself with a cigerette, on purpose. I still have the scar.

Repeatedly, beat my head on my steering wheel until I was exhausted, giving myself bruises. I truly hated myself for a very long time.

Allowed my abusive boyfriend to beat me and rape me on a regular basis because I thought I deserved it.

I was a thief for many years. I would steal clothes, underwear, jewelry and anything else I thought I wanted. I finally got caught for that, also.

I went to jail for grand theft for using an ex-boyfriends gas card well after we had broken up.

Was in 72 hour lock down, in a mental ward, because I smoked some pot that was laced with PCP and I thought I was going to die so they thought I was attempting suicide. They made me drink that liquid charcoal crud. I pooped it out for several days after.:poop::eek:

I'm sure there's more, but I'm tired of trying to remember.

 

[apocalypted]

I let a transvestite choke me until I passed out and I was naked, and married. I went to him for help and then ended up feeling like the monster because I "manipulated" him into coming into my world. I met a man from the internet in the park, he wanted to play the rape fantasy and I wanted the fight. I got scared I wasn't going to get out of it and lied to him saying "I know who you are" and I kissed him. I left home the week I turned 18 and moved into an apartment with a man I had known for days. I slept with him on the first date, like many others.

When I was 16 I got so drunk at a hotel I was staying in for the Eminem concert that I slept with two men in one day and one of them was 27 saying I paid for all of this what are you going to do for me? So I did. Him. When I was 20 I met a man from the internet and had him cut me up and beat me and everything else. I have had continuous times that I found myself on the internet looking for guys to talk about how they would kill me. And when I was 16 I stole a necklace. I think that's enough for now.

 

[Belle]

Ah I love this thread :)
mmm bad stuff....
stolen - I didn't need to but did because I was good at it, because it made me feel high
dated more than one guy at once saying I loved them both and that I hated cheats
lied with a poker face to get myself off the hook
let 2 nasty guys I knew meet up on my doorstep and ran off hoping they would both be in hospital when I returned
wasn't a good mother :(
bragged about how tough I was and how stupid others were
generally tried to live a lie

Became a workaholic

 

[Belle]

carried a stanley knife and thought it was my friend

 

[simplekindofgirl]

I had a wild child life while growing up. From being promiscuous to drug use, to stealing, to being an accomplice in extortion.

After enough was enough, I was fairly grounded for many, many years- especially while I was married. Until I wasn't grounded anymore.

Alcohol, vicodin which wasn't enough so I started with norcos. Which I also quickly found wasn't enough, so I started with oxycontin amongst other choices simultaneously. All if it given to me legally, it was how I used it that wasn't.

In the last six years- I have lied to my supporter, had an affair with a married man, left my kids for months at a time with my neglectful parents knowing that they are negligent and were not fit to raise their own children in order that I could "find myself"(but mostly so that I could drink and get high without the kids around, not to protect the kids but because I didn't want them around). Hard admission.

I can easily admit the bad things that I have done (this being the short list as taken from the cliff notes) while I know that I have moved in a direction away from that. It is still "in there" as something in which I once did, something to learn from, something to regret. But at some point I truly realized that if I wanted to get better, I had to make better choices. That doesn't mean that bad stuff doesn't or hasn't happened, or that it will not. It will. It has. But I have reasons to believe that continuing with those types of bad behavior only serve that/my desire to be self destructive. I won't do that anymore.

Let bad things happen if they must, and if I am to endure them, I must have/develop the kind of character that can stand up to it.

 

[CraftyCath]

I was a shoplifter in my early teens. I used to go with friends and the most valuable thing I stole was some earnings. One of my friends and myself went to a local petrol station to steal sweets. My friend got some stuff but before I could get something we got caught! The guy took her sweets off her and searched us both. After finding nothing he threatened to ring the police. We ran all the way home with tears streaming down our faces. I was so scared! When we got a safe distance my friend showed me that she had hid a bar of chocolate up either sleeve and the guy hadn't spotted them!

I never did it again after that!

 

[Eleanor]

-watched/encouraged friends to torch the new bleechers (put mud on the liscence plate so we wouldn't get caught as we drove away)
- would get involved with nice guys - they'd fall in love with me and I'd dump them as a teenager/20 something. One especially - John - whose heart I surely broke and who so didn't deserve that:cry:.
- never turned in the stupid Aristotle paper even though the prof trusted me to do so. (still intending to write the damn thing 20 years later.:()
- broke into houses and moved stuff around to cause fear/anxiety in the occupants.

 

[Eleanor]

I find myself doing this little mental dance reviewing...."here is a "bad thing" but is it really bad? no that one is ok." Reading back farther - harm to self bad things are a category I will have to think more about.

-stayed married to my ex husband for too long for me. (ambivalent here, because it may have done him some good.)
-one slapped my best friend in the face.

 

[Loveneverfails]

Well here goes...

-Skipped school in sixth grade, faking that I was sick constantly so I wouldn't have to face math and a cruel teacher who didn't understand and picked on me(I have dyscalculia and she'd make me attempt long problems on the white board in front of the class)

-Stole a piece of nickel candy from a convenience store, felt so bad I collected pennies and paid it back.

-Smoked pot when I was 14, it was laced with something and I hallucinated, tried to 'fly' and nearly jumped off the balcony of a second story building. My sister who had introduced me to it kept me from hurting myself and when I came down, had suicidal thoughts.

-Cut myself from ages 13-17 to cope with the abuse. Still have scars.

-'Cheated' on the man 21 years older than me that I was in a 'relationship' with, with a boy in my high school. Tried to initiate sex with the boy and he stopped me, told me he understood I was broken from the man and that he didn't care for me any less because of it.

-Contemplated cheating on my husband with a man I'd known for a while. Met up with the man and planned to go on a camping trip with him, my friends intervened and tore me a new one.

-After the separation but still married, I slept with a man over the period of two months and never told him I was still married.



so yeah.