General What Can We Do - Our Own Super Little Boy Of 5 Is The Trigger For My Husbands Ptsd

[Innordinate]

My kids are a trigger for me. Especially my son.
I don't really want to go into details of the thoughts I've had about them on bad days but they weren't nice thoughts. I didn't want the thoughts, I knew they were wrong even at the time but they were there. I never acted on them thank God but I did lock myself in my den and drink a lot.

My wife was finally smart enough to tell me to get real help or get the hell out.
I'm still alive, my wife is doing 100 x better and my kids are doing 1000x better.

 

[Innordinate]

Sorry,
to clarify. I moved out. After a year of intense therapy I have no idea yet if I'm ever going to live with them again but as much as I hate that they're better off without me I'm glad I left.
Divorce hasn't been mentioned.

:confused: I think I'm confusing you more than anything.
Sorry.
IMO - do what's best for your son first.

 

[Sunshine71]

Thanks so much for sharing and your honesty Innordinate- It is appreciated.

I hope and pray that we get through this and we can enjoy life again - and I hope you do as well.

Hubby is out today so I know he is happy and I am too - I hope that later things are not too stressful when he gets back.
Take care.

 

[AngelaMarie]

Inordinate,
Way to be honest!!!:tup:

 

[NIKI]

Sunshine, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. I wish peace for you and your family

 

[webVixen]

Sunshine,
Do you know if the PTSD involves guilt or fear of hurting his own child?
I know I used to fear abusing my child because of the abuse I endured and it caused me great distress and flashbacks. One thing I learned is that I am a great mother... and through reinforcement of that idea, I have overcome alot of that stress.

 

[AngelaMarie]

webvixen,
I actually had people ask me how I thought I could be a good mother if I never had an example. My answer to them was that I did have an example. I knew to do just the opposite of what my family did and it would be okay.

I did worry about it for a while. Worried about being like the women in my family. However, I have learned that even though I look like them I do not act like them. As you said I have learned I am a good mother and that we can overcome the cycle.:)

 

[OKRADLAK]

Innordinate-

I also choose 100% isolation because my family is better off without me near.They love me. But they cannot and should not deal with this.

I am past the whole, "Why should we all suffer for something others did" blah blah.It is what it is and I have to be apart. Period.

 

[AngelaMarie]

Okradlak,
100% honestly in very honorable. Always remember that things can change eventually.:);)

 

[Sunshine71]

Thanks again for your support and wise words everyone.

Things calmed down a little but tonight my husband slumped again.

He is never violent but just now does not spend anytime with our son. (who is just 5)

I was taking my son to bed (he doesnt want to as it is a trigger) and my son said I want o have a bath with daddy and jumped in.

I thought all was fine until my husband said that while in the bath he forgot who our son was a again and of cousre this is so upsetting and stressful.

I need to talk this through with my husband but as things were calm recently I didnt want to rock the boat.

Thanks for being there

Sunshine