What do body memories feel like?

[healing_now]

I've heard alot recently about body memories and have found little on the subject. I was wondering if those who have experience with them could explain what they feel like. This would help greatly if you could answer some of my questions, and maybe this could help someone else as well. So my questions are...

1. Can you actually feel what's going on? (Does it feels like a real person is there though there is clearly not?)
2. Are they mixed with memories or ideas about what's happening?
3. Are they painful?
4. Do powerful emotions come with it, or do you find yourself detached and calm?
5. Does it feel the same as if a real person was there? (meaning if I touched my forehead, I could feel the same type pressure with the body memories or is it weaker/more powerful?)
6. How do body memories differ from feeling normal everyday sensations?
7. Do body memories come at random, at certain times, when you are fearful or relaxed, at night or during the day?

Thank you so much for your insight and help!

 

[Meadowsweet]

1. Can you actually feel what's going on? (Does it feels like a real person is there though there is clearly not?)

Yes, I guess the nerves are physically sending messages to the brain as they would if someone touched.

2. Are they mixed with memories or ideas about what's happening?

For me they are, and they have emotion attached to them also. I want to scream gst off and leave me alone.

3. Are they painful?

I believe they are for some people. But I have no memories of pain.

4. Do powerful emotions come with it, or do you find yourself detached and calm?

No, powerful emotions come with it.

5. Does it feel the same as if a real person was there? (meaning if I touched my forehead, I could feel the same type pressure with the body memories or is it weaker/more powerful?)

I don't know the answer to this, because the body memory has some detachment from actual memory. So I couldn't tell you what the actual pressure was. But it's not a light touch I feel, it does feel like pressure.

6. How do body memories differ from feeling normal everyday sensations?

i'm not sure the body memory itself differs, but I recall the meaning of that feeling and emotions that aren't relevant. For example, I don't just feel a sensation, I feel the sensation of someone holding, pushing and feelings of violation (out of my control).

7. Do body memories come at random, at certain times, when you are fearful or relaxed, at night or during the day?

I'm sure that like most traumatic memories, they are triggered by something. But sometimes, for me it's hard to know what.

It is maybe different for others, but I hope this helps.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I had one body memory, and it hurt like hell. I was in therapy at the time doing an exercise. I did not connect it to a real memory, but I have never forgotten it. Hopefully someone will be along that can better assist you in your questions. Good luck.

 

[Chincho]

My answers would be the same as Meadowsweet's.

My body memories take me through the abuse I experienced as if I was going through it again. Thankfully they are not painful.

 

[shell]

1. Can you actually feel what's going on? (Does it feels like a real person is there though there is clearly not?)
2. Are they mixed with memories or ideas about what's happening?
3. Are they painful?
4. Do powerful emotions come with it, or do you find yourself detached and calm?
5. Does it feel the same as if a real person was there? (meaning if I touched my forehead, I could feel the same type pressure with the body memories or is it weaker/more powerful?)
6. How do body memories differ from feeling normal everyday sensations?
7. Do body memories come at random, at certain times, when you are fearful or relaxed, at night or during the day?

1. Yes I can mostly feel what's going on, no it doesn't feel like a real person. A full flashback of the same thing has happened, and then I really thought it was happening, it was only when I panicked and reached out to push him away, I realized it wasn't true.

2. Sometimes, but not at first, because I didn't understand what was happening, the more I paid attention, the more detail I notice, the longer they last etc.

3. Yes, sometimes so painful that I'm crying, in crunched over in pain. They start quickly, and may have sharp pain that last 30 seconds or more, or slowly and can drag out 10-15 minutes, with severe pain, or no pain depending on the numbing and burning. Have had strong dull aching pain that lasted for 4 days from reliving a memory of physical abuse.

4. With flashbacks I have all the emotions, body memories mostly no emotion, ocassional fear, I numb emotions - it was suggested I did it when I was a child, I still do it now.

5. It doesn't feel like a real person, it weaker, sometimes very light soft touches, sometimes strong heavy pressure as if someone on me, pressure on wrists, or pinching neck, legs, sometimes painful, but a body memory I can tell it's not really happening, a flashback feels real in everyway. I can tell I was a small child at the time, the size of the adult on me feels very heavy, out of proportion to how it would feel now. I feel how it felt to the child, I feel tiny, and he is huge.

6. Totally different, except for light touches and then I can really believe something is touching me, and I will push at the sheet thinking it was touching but it wasn't. When the sensation continues, my physical numbing will start.

7. My body memories are totally position related, laying in bed, it can happen while trying to sleep, or I wake and it's already happening, then I panic until I realize the pressure is just a body memory. To stop them, I get up and walk around, put the light on, and orientate myself to tell myself I'm safe. They can continue soon after laying down, but sometimes it's enough to stop them. My phyiscal numbing kicks in at anytime, its from the waist down to my knees, just a thought or memory or touch is enough.

I thought I was crazy when they first started, but I've got used to them now, talking in therapy has eased them, the more work I do, the better it gets, or so I tell myself.

Hope this helps, I done alot of work on them because it's how all my sexual abuse came back first, the actual memory came back later of being raped, and I'm still working on the rest.

 

[martian]

For me, body memories are triggered by events happening right now or by seeing something that somehow has a link to traumatic experiences.

For example: some of my body memories are triggered by talk about or thinking about injuries that I or someone else may suffer.

I do experience pain that I have successfully 'forgotten' for years.

I have experienced these things for as long as I can remember and until recently it never occurred to me that this is not normal.

 

[Devastatingly broken]

I'm new to this and so far I don't think I've done any of this right. I've been doing some therapy and my body has been going into positions and then I guess I remember what happened. I can feel, I'm sorry, this is hard and horrible and disgusting and if its too much I'm really sorry. But I can feel a man on me, his weight and body hair. I can feel the hands around my throat and sometimes can't breathe. I can feel 'things' in my mouth (I'm so sorry) I can feel the ropes, cuffs or strips of leather on my wrists and ankles. I can feel everything except for by the grace of God, certain pain in certain areas. I also feel like I'm 3yrs old. I don't know why my body does this because I cant accept that this could happen to a 3 yr old but my body's doing things that are physically impossible for me to do. They tell me it's body memories, but idk if any of its true. The only thing that I know that's absolutely true is my body is doing these things beyond my control. They said they are body memories.

 

[shoulderblades]

I feel it if I'm triggered. I feel it internally. I feel it emotionally, and the emotions become physical in my body. Like, my stomach will knot up, I freeze, I can't speak, I can't think, everything goes blank except for this primal fear, I seem to go back to the events emotionally, and the physical manifestation like what I just described follows. It sure feels like it is. If I find myself thinking too much about when I was raped a few years ago, I can "feel" the memory in my genitals. It's awful. I don't know if that's body memory. It's really hard to explain.

 

[safenow]

1. Can you actually feel what's going on? (Does it feels like a real person is there though there is clearly not?)
For me, it's usually a sharp pain. or a strangling sensation. At times, it is very hard to breathe.

2. Are they mixed with memories or ideas about what's happening?
For me, there is no memory attached, it just happens, then I have to go within to determine if it's a current condition or a body memory.

3. Are they painful?
Most of the time, yes. Before I had to use my wheelchair, sometimes I would even fall down. One time, it felt like I was hit with a skillet and I fell over. I ended up with a concussion from the fall.

4. Do powerful emotions come with it, or do you find yourself detached and calm?
For me, I just accept it and then try to go within to determine what it is. Unless it's from a former murder attempt, then I struggle. When a gun is pointed at me, my right leg hurts. I know that is only a body memory, so I can ignore it.

5. Does it feel the same as if a real person was there? (meaning if I touched my forehead, I could feel the same type pressure with the body memories or is it weaker/more powerful?) For me, It depends upon which body part is affected, and rather it's a memory from early childhood or adulthood. I have multiple traumas in my life.

6. How do body memories differ from feeling normal everyday sensations?
For me, when it's a body memory, I can shut it down. When it a normal current sensation, I call my doctor and have him come check it out, when it's bad. If it is not so bad, I just can treat it with ice or heat or whatever it requires.

7. Do body memories come at random, at certain times, when you are fearful or relaxed, at night or during the day?
I have no clue what triggers mine. I'm sure I must have been triggered in some way, but I never know what that trigger was. I have thousands of triggers, but not all are active all the time. And the more severe triggers must be in combination for me to have flashbacks and such as that.

I remember one time, standing at the copy machine at work, I had been most stressed for some time with people saying stuff that used to upset me. And my boss laughing about it. It was always of a sexual nature. I can't remember what he said, but he was to my right talking about something. I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my leg. It almost brought me to my knees it hurt so bad. He caught me by my arm and kept me from falling. When he grabbed my arm, I saw within my mind an event from 1969 when I was being tortured by three men where I'd been hit by a hard object on that side, one grabbed my arm to keep me from falling over. I grounded immediately so I didn't go into full flashback mode.

Most of the time they aren't that bad. Last year I had an incident where I thought I might have a blood clot, since after the pain hit in my foot, I thought I could actually see it swell and turn black. It lasted about an hour, then went away.

Body/tissue memories or no fun, let me assure you of that.

 

[therapybankrupt]

I for the first time experience this after uncovering trauma with EMDR Every time I process a trauma I get body reactions that were locked in at the time of that particular trauma. They include being sick to my stomach, trouble breathing, actual act happening,cramping, pain and anything that is connected with the many traumas I have endured. I am lucky though when I finished processing the trauma the body/memory related to that trauma is also reprocessed, It just disappears within days to a couple of weeks. Depending on how many passes I have to do to distance myself from the past. Not the most pleasant experience but I know there is an end to it so I tough it out.

 

[Pencil]

I often have this 'sense' of being slapped in my face/against my head. There's no pain or real physical sensation, just this 'feeliing' or 'sense' - almost as if a ghost is hitting me :unsure:

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi Pencil! Sorry you have to deal with that. I wonder what you are thinking about, smelling, hearing or seeing? Does your head move? I am not asking you to answer here. It might be worth you thinking about but check with your t first!

TB