What do you do with jokers and degraders?

[Changing4Best]

Yes, a consensus among all of us makes sense.

I did notice that 2 friends who used to sit at the table wear he sits are mad at one another now, whereas they have been friends for years, close friends even. I know something happened between these 2 and it happened on my day off (last Thursday) so I can only imagine, but have no proof, that this joker/degrader had something to do with their suddenly becoming enemies. People like him cause such things to happen. I have seen it before with other joker/degraders causing similar problems.

 

[Nessa7]

I also noticed him widening his circle of just WHO he picks on, because he picked on someone today that he has not picked on before, and I am a bit surprised that her boyfriend did not come to her rescue, as he is normally very protective of her.

Since his usual targets are trying to distance themselves from him, he may be testing the boundaries of others to see what they will let him get away with before they start pushing back.

 

[talon]

There is this guy who moved into the building where I live and also goes to the Senior Center where...

talk to the hand say it with a smile. Usually this kind of behaviour feeds on reactions no reaction no fun . Try to blank or say something about the weather or other. Pretend you did not hear what he said . If it feels like harassment then it is

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, he told me something interesting the other day, he said that one of his best friends he met and befriended by "picking on her" and so I think he may see this as some kind of way of making friends. I honestly think he does not mean anything really bad by it. We have another member of our group that teases folks too, but one thing I learned about her this week is that although she teases others, she does not like being teased! And another friend of mine noticed this about her too, so I was not the only one to see it.

My daddy picked on me a lot when I was a kid. Not my sister, just me. So I am kind of used to it, though I don't like it. So when this guy picks on me, I do my best to ignore it (taking everyone's advice here). I don't recall how I handled it when my father did it to me. I think I may have eventually ignored his doing it to me too, because when I got to be a teenager he rarely did it to me after that.

 

[mp2277]

I think each offending person should be handled differently depending on the situation. In this situation I would confront him head on, bluntly and sternly but not with anger and basically tell him his brand or humor (even if it's not humor this may soften the conversation) is not appreciated and will not be tolerated going forward. With a stern voice I would inform him that any future comments or actions will be met with formal complaints being filed both with the property management and the management of the rec center. State it, move on and file the complaints if he tests you. If you know his email address you can follow up your initial conversation with an email documenting your conversation for the record.

 

[Changing4Best]

WOW! I never thought of doing all that.

Actually, he stopped picking on me once I started ignoring his insults and such. He still has been at it on others though, so today I told one of the others that he picks on, that the joker told me the other day that he made a really good friend, like a best friend, by picking on her. She seemed to like it and they became really good friends. So I told this to this other fellow he has been picking on, right in front of him, so as to let this man know that possibly he thinks he's making friends with him by picking on him. The joker did not refute me or say anything, so I hope I at least eased this other poor soul's misery a little by telling him this, because the joker has been merciless with him for days now, since I have been ignoring his taunts.

I will listen to the joker absentmindedly when we wait for the bus together and comment now and then (because he does not ever joke or pick on me then). Anyway, he has not picked on me in several days now, so I thank you all for your advice here. It really helped me, those of you who said not to react to him at all when he picks on me. SO THANKS!