What do you notice about yourself when you lapse following a self care routine?

[The Albatross]

What I notice is that when the self care slips or is abandoned completely most often by extraneous necessity... in short order I become more reactive and the nightmares, sleeplessness, self doubts come to the fore. I don't like me very much. Had that happen recently due to my mom's situation and came back here to get back on a self care routine.

 

[HëllaBubz]

@Bkinder I used to be shocking with taking care of the house - although over time the lure of nice smelly toasty clean clothes became the focal point

@blackemerald1 I like the idea of yoga and stretches for balancing - might be a nice mindfulness weekend activity to do with the lil monster. I was sick today and didn't walk the dog so he slinky-hoverboarded his massive carcass onto my bed and snuggled me while I slept. Nice feeling hehe

@The Albatross yes I need to stay in a pattern so being on here keeps me accountable in a nice way.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'd like to comment, but I'm deep into a self-care desert, feeling like I don't deserve stuff. I should work on my gratitude stuff again.I'm glad you started this Bub, I understand the whole process.

 

[HëllaBubz]

@DharmaGirl start small. A facemask in the shower from Lush is where I started. A book from an preloved store. A cup of tea that smells better than it tastes ( come on, wevew all been there haha).

One tincy step. Just one. Then stay there

 

[LuckiLee]

J doesn't necessarily do "self care". His self care consists of routine. If he follows a routine he's good. Up early. Eat. Fishing. Shower. Pack lunch. Go to work. Home. Fishing. Eat. Bed time.

When his routine changes?? All hell can and does break out.

 

[HëllaBubz]

When his routine changes?? All hell can and does break out.

I can really identify with this. I struggle to keep my family in a routine which I need but I'm slowly clawing some of it back. Last night I had HORRIFIC nightmares. Texted my boss half asleep and told him I was unwell - I knew I wouldn't be functional.
So I've had a shower.
Dyeing my eyebrows while I put washing away. I'll call a counselling hotline later today for some extra support, and write a list of thing I want to save for to make my house nice.
Stop for a cup of tea and stare out the window and the winter blue sky and naked trees (I swear to god they shiver!), smile, make my bed and read a book.
Then I'm going to take the dog for a walk before the weather goes feral.

If I can't have a routine then I'll go through my mental checklist of things that make me feel better and help me check in until I've ticked off enough to keep going.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I'd like to comment, but I'm deep into a self-care desert, feeling like I don't deserve stuff. I sho...

I decided to celebrate Christmas in a nontraditional way. For the past 10 years, Christmas has always been a total disaster. Really, depressed family expecting things to go wrong, looking to create holiday problems, who wanted to do absolutely nothing but sit on their butts and watch me slave over the stove while they did nothing to pitch in, didn't want to put up a tree or decorate, and more recently family holiday saboteurs. It wasn't only Christmas but mostly any holiday where big meals and kindness was the norm.....it didn't happen because they were unhappy people....they lost their happiness and the holiday brought out the worst in them. So I made two changes....1) being separated, I looked around at my friends, decided who enjoyed the holiday, and announced that I was going to have a happy Christmas away from home this year and 2) I decided I'd have my own personal Christmas in July and Amazon would use their workshop, and my local mailman delivering my holiday boxes....would be my Santa Claus....I'd wait over the course of several days for my Christmas packages in the Amazon wrapped boxes to arrive. I did not buy stuff for myself at Christmas....just gifts for others.....and in the summer....I picked out Christmas items....things I could have fun with and treated myself....and it was lots of fun! When my last package arrives, I'll light some sparklers and remember people I loved who are not with me now, but whom I will never forget. That's this summer's Christmas! So far, I bought a new very way cool music stand that has extenders, a pastel case, about 100 different colored soft pastel pencils, some fancy erasers and blending sticks, some hardware for my computer, and a light for my music stand. Christmas in July.....try it, it is fun!

Christmas at my cousin's house was amazing and Thanksgiving at my friends....I felt so safe, and relaxed, and had a good time. I talked to no one from home, no family, and kept the phone off and put away. Best decision I made all year!

 

[DharmaGirl]

What a wonderful idea! I know what you mean about the they'll enjoy it if you do it, but can't be bothered otherwise.

 

[grit]

Your self care sounds exhausting and maybe lacking human connection aside the therapy session. I hope you take that into consideration. Maybe spend more time with your daughter and be a child like with her.

Personally, I am conscious of self-care and probably I fail often but one thing I do is breathe deeply whatever a moment of idle comes along. Waiting the bus, on the bus, in the bathroom, walking etc. and I spend a lot of time with my dog to make me feel like a kid again.

It is very personal thing to have a self care because it has to touch you but two things are for sure a basic. do not be so hard on yourself.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Your self care sounds exhausting and maybe lacking human connection aside the therapy session. I hope you take that into consideration. Maybe spend more time with your daughter and be a child like with her.

Ouch. Damn you for being right!
I was actually down on the floor playing with my daughter yesterday after she begged me to play with her - it was good. I missed it badly. I don't get to do that anywhere near enough.

I must admit though - I work in a contact facing role where I conflict coach & provide dispute resolution for a living.
It's exhausting, and I don't like being around humans much by the end of the day which is why I like to withdraw.

Utter silence is a beautiful gift when I can focus on each and every thing around me and fully take it in.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Your self care sounds exhausting

I thought about this some more.....no, I don't find it exhausting.
I like putting detail into self care that thoroughly nurtures me.

For me it is simply mindfulness that centres me to the earth and helps me find my place and direction.
I feel replenished and ready to take on anything after I put some attention into myself through many different ways, but not all at the same time :D

 

[grit]

hey bubzilla
lost in translation! it sounded exhausting to me but of course I hope it works for you. it takes guts and self knowledge to know your self care so all the best enjoying your self care.