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What Do You Think Is The Purpose Of Existence?

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My T, bless his little cotton socks, floated the concept of "Purpose" by me today, possibly motivated by the knowledge that I seem to lack one..?

I was in my usual meltdown about how despite all my therapy, and all my knowledge & insight about my illness, I can't let go of my abuser as a good man who was helping me, or the paradigm he brainwshed me with (being a "whore of god"). I still believe. I know it's bogus, but I still believe it. 20 years later and I still miss my abuser and want him to be proud of me (urgh!).

My T suggested, shortly before he took the safe route of leaving, that maybe I didn't miss my abuser...maybe I just missed having a purpose, even though it was an intolerable one.

Hmm...
 
Hi Ragdoll,
if you are feeling fragile, don't look, come back to this when you are feeling stronger and have support available

One of the things with the deep end of complex and developmental trauma, and the related stuff that comes as free gifts with the deal (diagnoses of BPD, DID etc) is a very poor conception of self, an feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness.

Sebern Fisher (in "neurofeedback in the treatment of developmental trauma"), described one of her patients introducing herself as "I'm a borderline".

The woman had absolutely zero ability to sense her own identity for herself and "a borderline" was the only identity that anyone had ever been kind enough to her to offer, so she had embraced it as her. It was what she thought she was and who she thought she was.

It's incredibly tough when either so little care was shown, or a child is already so traumatised that it desperately avoids being "any identity" in an unconscious attempt to be invisible, to evaporate into safety.

Sending a pile of absolutely non sexual hugs for that poor little girl
 
The purpose of existence is pre-life, pre-human, pre-words, pre-language.

How flagrantly narcissistic are we to believe that primitive vocalizations emitted by vocal folds in our throats, could explain or express the purpose of the existence of the entire Universe?

Said purpose, if there even is one, existed eons before our species did and will exist long after our inevitable extinction.

We are intransigently obsessed with our place, our role in the Universe.

We view the entire Universe and it's long history through the lens of our species brief existence, how utterly laughable and self-obsessed!

In the only meaningful context, our existence is a trivial perturbation on a minute chunk of molten rock in just one of hundreds of billions of galaxies.

Oh, how our egos despise our utter irrelevance to the whole!

How small we are!

How hard it is to accept!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For me, my purpose is purely arbitrary......to explore what it is to BE.........and to feel awe about That Which IS.:happy:
 
To exist is to be present in this moment...... And in this moment.
To be alive is to be able to breath that is life. I think it is as simple as that. My life has been so complicated before. To appreciate the simple things every day.
To be asked when were you the happiest .... The answer .... Now in this moment.
 
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