What Does Isolating Look Like In Your Relationship?

[rightkindofme]

Just putting this out there - how do sufferers prefer their supporters to respond/react under these circumstances? What is the best thing that helps you at this time, in relation to your supporter?

People are so different that I'm not sure it is helpful for you to know this about people other than the one you are dealing with. If you try stuff that works well for me, (like stroking my hair) someone else might freak out. You need to get it out of your individual person and if they don't want to tell you there is nothing you can do but protect yourself.

As someone with PTSD I strongly recommend that you get yourself a counselor for working through your own issues. We are wicked scary people to be in relationship with sometimes. Not necessarily because of violence but we are genuinely unpredictable. Please take care of you before you try to take care of anyone else.

I hope that sounds loving. I mean it in a kind way.

 

[rightkindofme]

You are seeing someone! Great!

I have changed my opinion of anger over time. I used to hate it and try to avoid it. Then I realized that anger is the warning sign my body has for when my boundaries are being crossed. When I started paying a lot of attention to the beginnings of anger I figured out which situations were not very good for me. My anger is much more under control than it used to be.

 

[Abstract]

anger is the warning sign my body has for when my boundaries are being crossed. When I started paying a lot of attention to the beginnings of anger I figured out which situations were not very good for me.

Exactly! :tup: Unless one has PTSD of course because then you have to figure out is it is actually past stuff rather than present. But you still need to note it and work it out. Its still a perceived threat.

 

[Changing4Best]

Sheila, I believe that man should initiate, however that is not a formula! But just making conversation - go for it! See him like an old friend, neighbor....I have friends who can't talk to guys they like. Think of something he talked about before.

He was friendly and shook my hand yesterday when I got to church. Then the lady next to him, a marriad women, spoke to me and I got distracted from his conversation. I had a Christmas card for her which I was saving from the week before, when she had not been in church. By the time she finished talking my ear off about why she had not been in church, I'd forgotten to pick my my conversation with George again where it had been left off. Then the service began...

 

[Akili]

Just putting this out there - how do sufferers prefer their supporters to respond/react under these circumstances? What is the best thing that helps you at this time, in relation to your supporter?

I prefer space and time to allow me to think things through.

 

[Bilby]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the input.

I think perhaps the journalling is something that I need to revisit. There are numerous reasons why I should (there are other complications in my life that I have used it for in the past and I really should still be doing this - if not for just helping me calm myself down about these things, then for record-keeping purposes at least - long story).

Overall, I think it could be useful. My husband has also been doing a bit of it himself, as part of his therapy.

I think the biggest benefit for me, was that I could, in the 'rawness' of the moment, get everything out. At that point, if I had tried to discuss things with someone, I would be responding with anger, hurt, upset, frustration etc - and probably unable to discuss the situation rationally and calmly. If I get it all out in the journal first - record what's happened, how it's made me feel etc, after that, I have found that I have then been able to talk about it calmly.

Thanks again, this has been very useful :)

B x

P.S. Rightkindofme - yes, you are right when you say that it is an individual thing, and I took your post in the spirit with which it was intended :) Thank you!

 

[Rumors]

I would come up with a plan when he is not in the midst of a moment. I know if I were asked at my low point, I would chop your head off. Not intentionally, but just because.

Hang in there! Try and have productive conversation when he is feeling well. Best wishes!

 

[Bilby]

Cheers, Rumors. :)

 

[MissMacD]

As far as my depression and anxiety goes, this stems back to my childhood (I am glad I am not alone in having a long history with this sort of thing) and I was told a long time ago now, that medication would be a lifelong thing for me. I'm ok with this. I have to take the medication if I want to be able to function and have a shot of living a happy life. Perhaps sad to some, but that's my reality - so be it.


B x

Medication is a battle in many peoples lives and it sure is in mine. I get to either have side effects like gaining weight or having my nose stuff up every night or I can choose to be on nothing and have no quality of life and not have the ability to do basic things like sleep and eat. When I am not on medication I often suffer. It`s a toss up because I can either have my mind run 100 miles an hour or be in a Seroquel induced fog all day. I take the side effects because it shuts up my busy brain and allows me to sleep.

I was taught to feel shame over medication because anti psychotics were part of my childhood and I was given them by my abuser but not because there was anything wrong with me but because she got her hands on them and drugged me so I`d shut up. I was so dopey that I fell asleep in school and drooled.

Taking pills can feel very humbling but in the long run it is worth it to have more function and feel a little more alive. I know that my condition is going to be life long - if I have to take pills to improve my life so be it.

 

[rightkindofme]

I have a terrible time with needing medication. I don't do well with the hormonal effects of any of the western meds I've ever been on. Sometimes they make me not sleep for weeks. Sometimes they make me black out and fall frequently. Sometimes they make it so I am unable to get out of bed--which is unusual for me.

And I ODed on sleeping pills when I was 15. Swallowing pills is terrible. I have a gag reflex like nothing else. My body doesn't trust little pills I want to swallow any more. Smart body.

So I smoke pot. And feel like a Loser. Because I judge myself quite badly for being an addict.

I wish I wasn't so firmly of the mindset that me feeling good is bad.

 

[MissMacD]

rightkindofme, I grew up on a tiny island with really outdated psychiatric medical practices and ended up on up to 7 prescriptions at a time. It was horrible. If you find the right doctor you can potentially find something that would work for you. I've been on and off medication over a decade and just turned 29 and I can so relate to being on stuff that messes me up. Pills that are supposed to make me sleep wake me up and antidepressants make me psychotic.

There are other methods of treatment such as CBT which is really popular for PTSD and many people do it without medication. I hope you find the help you need so that you can feel better. Hang in there.

 

[MissMacD]

I have relentless sensory overload, it is bad enough that if it doesn't dissolve on it's own I am going to the hospital for usually disappointing results - a doctor that sends me home with a new prescription shows me the door. Any sensory stimulation is sickening. Does anyone else get this? If anyone tries to touch me I go nuts. I've been suffering hard all day - this in a case where I have to isolate because otherwise if someone adds to my already chaotic mind I will scream at them. I just can't take it.