What Does Your Head Feel Like After A Flashback

[Hope4Now]

Do you tell your therapist every time you have a flashback?
Days later it feels pointless to say, "Saturday I had a flashback in the middle of Bed Bath and Beyond triggered by wooden spoons and ice cube trays"

I think it is probably a good thing to let your therapist know when you've had them, how often, where, and how long, etc. That said, I don't often do this myself. It seems like I would overwhelm my therapist! Given that I have multiple ones every day, I don't say much except, "Had a lot of flashbacky/body stuff this week."
Wooden spoons and ice-cube trays, huh? Hmmm. What is that story for you? Do you know?

I had one today in a US Coast Guard training. Sitting in a room with 30+ people and my daughter next to me. Fun! I seem to get them when I am in lifesaving/first aid trainings. I have no clue why. Hmmm. Another story there, I guess.

 

[desiderata310]

That said, I don't often do this myself. It seems like I would overwhelm my therapist! Given that I have multiple ones every day, I don't say much except, "Had a lot of flashbacky/body stuff this week."
Wooden spoons and ice-cube trays, huh? Hmmm. What is that story for you? Do you know?

I don't usually tell him about ALL the flashbacks because it's just.. too much information. I don't know I feel like I should probably say something but I've quit telling him much of anything about them because they are just a constant.

Wooden spoons and ice-cube trays? It's... complicated.

 

[Fadeaway]

Sinus pressure X10 only no congestion and the pressure is more pronounced.

Would swollen be fit by any chance. I have sinus stuff where there is mucus but it is like the tissue is swollen to the point it shuts my air way off.

I have never associated this with flashbacks though.

 

[jaccat]

Like I'm very very small and the world is very very big and scary. Also I'm breathing harder.

 

[GWhizz]

Disoriented and slightly confused is how I would best term myself after one. I mainly have emotional flashbacks but a lot of the time it leads to full re-experiencing and dissociation.

I don't tend to tell my T as I don't want her to prod. I feel ridiculed when she asks what I tried to manage it. And I'd rather not share the content. Not yet anyway - I'm not seeing her long enough.

Last night I kept having like mini flashbacks (if you can call them that), where I was in and out of it. I don't know if it was me using effective skills to deal with it or whether I was simply fighting something too big that wanted to pass it's course whether I liked it or not. Anyway, I felt really unstable afterward and like cutting because my partner completely misunderstood how I was feeling. He thought I was mad at him over something. How do you explain to that other person that sometimes it's just too much and you lose hope, without making them feel like you're choosing to give up on them?

Sorry to threadjack, totally going off in a tangent here @desiderata310 - good thread though. I really want to understand this more too.

 

[Louise1988]

My head feels "full", the nearest thing I can think of is full of white noise. My eyes often feel strained and I feel "little" and often nauseous.I also get sensations of being strangled (not related to the content). This can all last hours.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Saturday I had a flashback in the middle of Bed Bath and Beyond triggered by wooden spoons and ice cube trays"

Flashback with somatic (?) response often now in last months when in a store is uncontrollable incontinence. Sudden and no control, no particular trigger.

Head - live in PNW and walk dog for hour or so every morning. It is wet and rainy so wear fleece hats. Some day the hats that are usually the right size feel like a clamp around my brow. Removing the hat there are pressure indents on my forehead from the hat being too small. One day or week to the next. Curious what changes that.

 

[desiderata310]

@Fadeaway
I think sinus pressure was a bad way to explain it. It feels like someone is inside my head and is squeezing sections of my brain. I know the brain doesn't have pain receptors but that's what it feels like none-the-less. Sometimes it's very clearly the front, temporal lobe area, sometimes more towards the back, yesterday it was different areas in turn and the whole thing at once. Added with thick headed, slow. freezing my ass off and shivering in 85 degrees, so sleepy that I could nap but so hyped up that the thought of closing my eyes was terrifying

VERY dissociated for the rest of the day.

I remember I texted Z and asked him if I was crazy. I FELT crazy. I remember apologizing. I do that a lot too. Intense embarrassment. I know people were staring at me. It wasn't like I was crying quietly in the store. I wasn't quite aware of where I was. As far as flashbacks are concerned it was pretty minor. more a series of mini flashes than a full out flashback.

 

[desiderata310]

@GWhizz

Threadjack... it's ok.. When I contacted Z, (I still have the text thread) I was trying to... ground? I guess. I barely remember trying to text him.
Started off me just asking him if I was crazy.
he knows I've done some some research and while PTSD is not considered a "TBI" there IS evidence of damage to areas of the brain. I've actually read this in several places but this is the one I can find quickly:

Link Removed

It talks about the damage to the hippocampus and other abnormalities in other areas of the brain. It helps me to understand WHY I can't control it sometimes. It helped Z understand why I act the way I do sometimes.

One of the ways I have found to 'feel better' about this is to call it a type of brain injury. (whatever helps me get through the night, right?)He picked up on that a while back and uses that when I'm like this sometimes... this time was no different. I needed to hear it.

ME: "Z, am I crazy?"
Z: " No. Recovering from a brain injury"
ME: "Standing in the middle of bed bath and beyond sobbing and can't stop and don't know why"
Me: "Sorry"
Z: "For what?"
Me: "Everything. Bothering you, being so f*cked up everything"
Me: "you REALLY deserve better friends"
Z: "Shut that shit up. You're in a tough spot but you're an amazing friend"

I know that by the time I had texted the sorry, I was in a bad way. wanted so badly to cut, to quit, to give up, to die. those things come over me in shocking quick waves and they're hard to fight off. I was, by that point, sitting in the car (remember it was hot as hell) shivering and full tilt bawling, nose running, blah blah blah.

*sigh* damn it. crying again.

He texted with me a bit more turned the subject a bit. He knows I love the shit out of his mom and he's visiting her this weekend. It helped.

The thing about this shit is that it's never about the other person. Cognative issues. Microclimates of suicidality and hopelessness surrounded by normalicy. Just ride that shit out and get back to calm seas.

PTSD is a motherf*cker in that regard. Maybe explaining that to your partner in moment of calm and peace would help? I think trying to explain and defend myself in the midst of that would worsen things for me. It would exaserbate things. Instead of the microburst of hopelessness, it would burst into a full tilt shit storm and attempt.

 

[shimmerz]

to quit, to give up, to die. those things come over me in shocking quick waves and they're hard to fight off. I was, by that point, sitting in the car (remember it was hot as hell) shivering and full tilt bawling, nose running, blah blah blah.

Yes. This I can relate to.

when in a store is uncontrollable incontinence.

I wonder if this is why I have to pee EVERYTIME I walk into a store.

Wooden spoons and ice-cube trays? It's... complicated.

Desi, for me it was casseroles. No idea why.

Do I recall that you just moved (or are in the process of moving?) Are these flashbacks about that perhaps. I don't recall you talking about them often. Just wondering....

 

[Deleted member 28740]

I'm not in a place to split hairs...

Desi. Thanks for the head simile.

 

[desiderata310]

Do I recall that you just moved (or are in the process of moving?) Are these flashbacks about that perhaps. I don't recall you talking about them often. Just wondering....

I...

I don't talk about them a lot but they happen a lot 2-7 times a week depending on the week.

Yes, I moved last week. I'm still trying to settle in. Yes, there's a lot of stress surrounding moving and things that actually happened with wooden spoons..

My parents constantly moved. 3 months was a long time to stay some place. It made it easier (?) to hide the abuse. Though that was not (to my knowledge) the reason that we moved so much. My brother and I had nightmares about coming home and our parents having moved while we were at school.

I also have anxiety about settling down. I realize that I've moved a great deal in my life and staying in one place right now feels .... dangerous. heh.. yeah. I get how messed up that is. Settling down right now means that my ex will be able to find me easier. *sigh*

Damned if I do, damned if I don't.