Poll What Gender Was The Perpetrator/s Of Your Sexual Abuse?

[Abstract]

"Milder" abuse also qualifies such as no contact sexual abuse (showing porn inappropriately to children, showing acts to you, age inappropriate conversations with aims at gratification etc). Included are also under-age coerced/groomed "relationships" and inappropriate enemas and similar acts.

Apologies to people sensitive to gender related discussions. Supporters feel free to answer too.

If you answer both then feel free to discuss if most of them where one gender or the other.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Well, this I am unsure about. All male expect one female when I was a child. She was a teenager. And despite that I don't think of it as sexual abuse. I don't look back on as abuse. I wanted to touch her back, I wasn't feeling fear or horrified. I know my therapist disagrees with this, he thinks my babysitter should not have been touching me. I know he holds back and wants to say lots more on the subject. And I do understand why but I still don't look back on this memory with fear or disgust.

I'll have to think about this before voting. Thanks for the thought provoking thread.

 

[digger]

Can I ask why you're asking? What insight you're wanting to gain from the poll?

 

[Abstract]

Just interested if female abuse is more common than people think. No personal insight. I don't think it's the type of poll that would improve personal insight for most. In fact I think a lot of polls aren't about personal insight. Maybe a little of what Solaro mentioned in that it can affect our reactions to present relationships. Maybe an opportunity to express something less directly. I suppose everything is an opportunity to share or get used to/build a tolerance to sharing as well. And make things real. A processing of sorts on a tiny level rather than insight.

Ps. Actually everything gives me personal insight and there is stuff about my complex entangled trust issues with both sexes. Constant evaluations and obsession about understanding how to evaluate who is safe and who isn't and how to figure it out.

 

[Abstract]

ask why

May I ask why you want to know?

 

[digger]

Of course :) I just couldn't see the reason for the question and was curious to know what it was before deciding whether I thought it might be helpful to answer it or not.

 

[Abstract]

Thanks. I edited for clarification too!

 

[Abstract]

And I do understand why but I still don't look back on this memory with fear or disgust.

That sounds important Ayesha. Do you think something has to be viewed with disgust to be abuse? Is that to do with something being traumatising maybe or could it also be about how far you have let the emotions out? Does something have to have caused trauma for it to be abuse? Just some things to consider....

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Both for me...

 

[Lionheart]

My abuse perpetrators were male. I feel ashamed of men in general for being abusive to women and children of both genders!

 

[Abstract]

I am sorry you feel like that Lionheart. Maybe it will help a bit to see that women also abuse. I know you know it intellectually but seeing people share is somehow different usually. They is no connection between you and those men who assault others.

 

[Lionheart]

Thank you Abstract, it does help!