The most helpful for my recovery?
1. The first step wouldn't have happened without awareness. Starting to lift the dissociative cloud. Therapy made me realise my life and memories weren't connecting at all.
2. The second has literally been finding the ability to speak and let others in a bit. I had zero trust and ability to do that. Trapped inside myself.
3. Breaking down denial. Mine was horrendously strong.
4. Learning how to self sooth and care rather than the ingrained viscous attacks I would automatically go into. One can't heal if you are re-injuring yourself whenever you need nurturing. This is still a process. (love the stalker analogy
@shimmerz !). That has only started shifting properly recently. It has made a huge difference.
5. Education about trauma and symptoms. Starting here mostly. I somehow managed to miss that part of psych before - to a large extent.
6. The realisation that processing requires emotional engagement and can't be logiced through. That a healthy life requires that too. My recovery sped up a lot after that.
7. Human connection when in need. Learning to accept I need it (argh I hate that). Learning to tolerate and trust it without harming myself.
8. Accepting internal conflict and fighting and lessening it. It kept me traumatised and trapped. The improvements have to be the most relieving thing of all.
9 Improving dissociation. First improvement resulted in me feeling like I was born then.
10. My stubbornness and tenacity.
11. Arranging my work so that I cut out 90% of the stress and triggers. When I was able to start working a bit again. The fact that I could accept I should do this rather than thinking I was as tough as nails.
12. Online support. Since I was unable to tolerate real life so often.
Other general fabulous helpful things: radical acceptance (what would I have done without that!), Mindfulness, DBT learning about emotions, identifying them and their uses; assertiveness; developing my identity, Pete Walkers the Four f's.
Exposure and processing are of course the crux but I couldn't have started on that without the rest.
Unhelpful?
Multiple bad, misguided and unqualified therapists. Inability to have therapy. Trust issues. CBT. Trapped silence and self internal fighting. Lack of support.